Relinkk.

2009-03-26T16:18:00.003+08:00

Didn't attend school again.
Yesterday night held my eyelids til 3.30 for one gaudy show.
And ya, didn't wake up the following morning.

(...)

I miss beebee, lover and ling alottttttt. ;_;
Somethings happened just now. Don't wish to talk about it. :/
Anyway, tomorrow I'm so gonna prepare to be dead when I reach school cus 'cher's gonna whack me for not providing a MC or letter for being absent. And I think I've been absent-without-valid-reason for more than thrice. Here comes suspension, I suppose. ):

Read through my horoscope and found that everything was so apply-to-ferlynn's-life.
There:

Look back at the recent events that just caused a stir in your group(1),

and you will begin to notice some patterns.

Someone has been consistently unreliable or unpredictable(2),

and you need to point that out today -- either to them or to someone who holds power over them.

This is not tattling, this is problem solving,

so don't hesitate to share what you have noticed.

It's time for you to separate yourself a little bit from the people who are doing things in a way you don't approve of(3).

Wellwell, (1) is the fucked up case I recently had.
(2) refers to someone, or more than one, who has been stabbing me at the back, and also telling my ------ my private affairs.
(3).. I guess only some people understands.
Ohwell. D:

I've decided to downgrade my bag to a file.
I'll be bringing a file to school rather than a bag, provided nobody complains. -.-

Updated my wishlist. <3
So.. time for some self-gossiping.

1) ----
Thought everything was a for-e-ver. It turned out to be for-never.
Why. I don't feel that kinda' love anymore. It was just, friends, or even just aquaintances.
Where's CherineMummy when I needed her the most. ):
(Although consulting her often ends with tears, but they were meaningful).
There were so many questions for him in my mind, but they seem to blur off each time his image appears. What signs are these? Tellin' me i shouldn't know? Tellin' me I'll regret knowing? But I dont care, you see. Am I expected to live in curiosity everyday? Pfft. Those nightmares, waking up and see those tears. What are those. I'm going crazy, God, save me please.

2) ---------
I regretted (~) you. Shouldn't have (~). What makes you think you're fine now?
Don't you know what's a black record? It's etched in our minds. Signalling we're in danger each time you're around. It makes me feel so insecure. Although I know I can't face you with that pissed face, as you're just around me. That's why I (~). But that doesn't mean it's fine. Well, you may be fine, but I know I'm not anymore. Not at all. And stop trying to make things complicated to save yourself from the fire. I'm not stupid, not anymore, too.

3) ------
Sorry. I miss those days. <3

2009-03-25T15:55:00.003+08:00

Everything ended up like that.
Just don't know why. I'm losing myself.
Stuck with this grounded up thingy.
They just don't understand.
Why am I doing all these? I tried to hint those reasons. But it seems like no one bothers.

I wanted so much to talk to her. But she didn't bother to look at me for the second time.
What kind of family is this? I don't get the love I seek. I don't get the care and concern I ought to get.
Everyone has their parents together, so close and loving.
What about mine.
It makes me go green each time I see other's parents going out to dinner together.
What the hell is this. I don't need anyone's attention. I just need her love.
But this is going nowhere.
I'm stubborn, I know.

But the least you can do is, free me.
You've already had the previous case's ending.
It applies to the current case's ending as well.
The more you lock me, the more I'll end up doing fucked up things.
If you had allowed me to continue going out, I know myself. I won't do those things again.
But because you're locking me up, I would feel like I'm a mad dog being set free, I'll have the kind of "I-Finally-Can-Run" Feeling.
And start to run as far as I can, until I'm worn out. But if you just let it pass and let me be myself, I know I'll come running BACK to you, Mummy.

I tried to tell all of you all these, but you would only nag, nag, nag, scold, scold, scold.
What's wrong with YOU guys?
I might just go mad one day, or even jump off the building(if i overcome my fear for heights).
And ya, I'll become even more rebel. You all are the cause for it, remember. Zzz.

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." - Will Smith.

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life." - Herbert Otto.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." - Helen Keller.

"Action may not always bring happiness;but there is no happiness without action." - Benjamin Disraeli.

"One often holds back when 'something' is blocking our way to our happiness, yet we never find another way to obtain it." - Unknown.

I'll suffer for you, _________. <3>

2009-03-21T22:38:00.002+08:00

Saturday. ):
Stayed at home for the whole day.
Planned to do a lil' more studying, a lil' more eating 'nd sleeping.
Anyway. I took a book from the shelf.
Titled: Why men marry Bitches.
Spent an hour reading the first chapter and found it to be quite interesting.
And ya, the "Bitch" they described is so.. "Ferlynn-ish".
Wasn't entirely the bitch thing, but you know, they use it as a word. Ain't offensive.
It is said that "Bitches" doesn't seduce men. They are the so called 'married material'.
Oh and, the so called married material, came from the fact that they are, yes, independent.
>.> Like I said, so "Ferlynn-ish"
LOL.
It's written by Sherry Argov.
Quite meaningful.
They had the quote I often apply to my ideal relationship;want you but don't need you.
And another quote was what Nic often say: I rather be disliked for who I am than to be loved for what i am not.
And yayaya, they said something about woman being sex toys.
Oh well, I'll update upon reading the second chapter.

Thursday was stupid.
I got sick and stayed at home.
Dear said I pun too much. Cannot be ma.
Beebee & Ling missed me. Haahahahahah. <3

Friday went out.
Met Ling at LRT and we cabbed to Hougang point.
On the cab, we laughed loudly, and keep quiet for awhile, out of sudden laugh again.
On the way to HP, he drove pass the Woodbridge.
He said "That's where you came from?"
We laughed.
"Eh woodbridge, I've got 2 of your people here!"
We laughed.
"I tell you ah, got some taxi drivers are like you two de."
We look at each other, then laughed.
"Really!"
We didn't stop.
"I am one of them, hahaha!"
And we laughed like we're screaming. -.-
Ah whatever. I had makeup on, and laughed til I teared.
I remembered the next thing I was laughing about was not being embarrassed for laughing so loud, but because my makeup was smurged by the tear. >.>

Reached Hougang Point and headed towards the NTUC.
Went to get a basket, and Ling went to get her track pants.
"Eh very ugly leh" was the first sentence she said.
.
.
.
"......"

And we headed towards the grocery section.
I got my list of food.
We were laughing for almost no reason at all.
The capsicum, it was stated as 'pepper'
I laughed.
The bean sprouts, I remembered the amount wrongly.
Ling laughed.
After I finished scanning for ingredients, I said
"I feel like buying fruits for ahma."
Both of us laughed. LOL.
Went to make payment.

We called for a cab cause the line was very long at the stand.
cabbed to Plaza.
We went to the mall to buy gum.
Then to my house to place the stuffs.
Had eggs.
LOL.

Went down to Yewchong's house and see no one.
Then went to RC to meet Zanna.
Aftr that, Weifeng & Ruifa came.
We went to stage to slack.
Hermen came too.
I colored his nails with my eyeliner and eye shadow.
Pink and Black, how's that? LOL.

Sheena Lover came down then.
Then Yewchong and the rest came.
We were walking to his house, halfway there, we stopped at 116B.

We went up to 17th floor, Me, Beebee & Hermen.
Pun abit. Then went to YC's house.
Slacked awhile, and headed to 116B again.
Lied to them we were going to Plaza.
Zanna & Jillian was super seh. :/
We went back again.
This time, stayed there longer. Rested in YC's room with Zanna.
Called Dear.
And we went to Plaza to eat KFC. :D
Cherine agrees with me that my choice of food is ever so standard! Ahaah.

They bought gum.
I didn't want to follow. Nor did Hermen and Delwynn.
But still did. Kinda' worried.
Like, hello? It's two pretty ladies. What if ~~~~. :/
So ya, they seh until very jialat. ._.

Stayed at RC for about half an hour til Dear came.
Then headed to YC's house.
Snatched gum with Jeremy and Alex.
All super seh, rested inside his room.
Hermen & Delwynn left.
Heard them saying what, mata coming. ==

They going for bbq @ East Coast. So we left his house.
Heard some serious bad news from Sheena.
Don't sad anymore k, Lover. <3

Ling, Beebee, Lover & me went to meet Hermen & Delwynn again later.
We went to playground awhile to slack. Lol.
Sang Spongebob Square pants.
Heard Delwynn saying I'm from Woodbridge. -.-
He said Hermen is GAY. :DDDDDDDDDD!

Lover wanted to bath, so we pei her til Plaza.
We slacked at KFC.
We messed up their phones and all that. LOL.
And Hermen say he thought I sec 3. x.x
Chit chat abit. Then went to RC again. Bee and Lover came down.
So did Dear. Rushed down, all thanks to Cher & Ling. ==

Pun alot. sehseh already. ):
They went to stage. I went to staircase.
Went home like, 1 hour late. -.-

-
Tomorrow there's buffet for me.
So I can't stay too late. Ohwell.
-

I wanna talk to him, I just can't find the time. ;_;

2009-03-19T17:25:00.006+08:00

Looking so innocent, I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life, if you hadn't left me waitin' in the cold
And you got to share your secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
-
Hey.. How much does these applies to you and me?

16 March's Midnight was a hell of shock.
Everything seems to have revealed themselves.

17March.
Supposed to meet Jillian;Ling arnd 8+. -.-
I woke up at 8.15. And smsed Ling.
She was sleeping.
I went back to sleep.
And she woke up. LOLOLOL.
Dear & Ling spammed call me. :X
I woke up at 10. replied their messages.
Went back to sleep. LOL.
10.30+ I finally woke up. Oh well.
Then meet Ling & Bee.
At macs awhile, and saw Cherine.
Four of us sat there.
.
.
.
.
.
Then said bye to Bee.
Ling, me and Cherine went to Yewchong's house to slack.
We had Breezer and Tiger. :/
Verrrrrrry seh. Ling and Cher face redred.
Cherine went to Compasspoint for her work aftr that.
We went there toooo.
Nic got into anthr thing. -.-
And that guy was tgt w/ SengKiong. Like, wth?
That guy jio Nic 1v1. x.x
Then dua us. Eileen and I wasted our breathes going round' the whole Compass just to find him.
Continued to spam call him. He still wanted to set time&place. Chee.
Asked him to come Compass he say too far. So set place at RP @ 8pm.
We cabbed there, four of us - Me, Eileen, Ellice & LiMin.
He dua us again. -.-
Argh. Nevermind.
Slacked outside Macs.
Pubor and the rest came.
Ling was still sehseh.
Sent Eileen to bus stop, met Beebee & Lover.
Went home aftrthat.

18 March.
Jio Ling to pun.
She told Dear. So plan failed.
Jio Beebee.
Dear don't let.
Fail again. ;_;
Shag.
Cherine came aftr her work.
Dear & Nic tj again. -.-
Ofcourse, nothing happened in the end. All thanks to me. LOLOLOL.

Slacked at 112 voiddeck.
Cherine asked me to talk to her.
Cried abit. ):
Anyway, Bee very seh. But we didn't rape her, we raped her coins. Teehee.
Derrick bought new phone. Same as mine! Hi5! :D
Cherine and me went to kfc.
Bought cnt pie, cheese fries, medium pepsi and icelemontea.
Miss the pie. LOL.
They came aftr that. Ling wanna go buy gum, but Nic don't allow.
Ohwell. ~.~
Cherine and I went to buy gum.
Buy finish alrdy, turn around saw dear. Cher and I ran. LOL.

We walked to Future there. Pun alot.
I seh alr. LOL.
Don't remember alot of things but, I know we met Beebee.
I'm not that seh ok. -.-
We went to 113 RC.
Derrick scolded us. ):
Herman and Delwynn was there too.
Ling grabbed Herman and said "He's my boyfriend!"
Cherine grabbed Delwynn and said "He's my boyfriend!"
~~"
So we exchanged numbers. LOL.
Went home aftrthat.
:D:D:D

2009-03-16T17:23:00.004+08:00

Woke up late. -.-
RJ came up and passed me a pack. He's owed enough.
Going out adyyy. :))))))))!

Hey btch.
Listen.
If there's anything you're not happy about, mind speaking right at my face instead of stabbing from behind?
You're a real coward y'know.
You don't wanna lose friends, you don't want people to hate you.
You wanna make people love you and shine spotlights on you.
Oh please. We will if you can just be yourself.
And not telling other girls tales about me and make them hate me.
They've suggested to and asked me to ask you out and talk about it.
Well, we'll see soon enough who's gonna have the last laugh.
Telling me you won't do it again, and you have ------- as your scapegoat previously.
And now, who's gonna be the one to carry your burden?
I doubt it'd be the same person.
You just don't know how bitchy you are.
No you don't.
You just think you're that pure, that innocent, and that lovable.

People just don't see your true form.
What you have?
Jealousy. Jealousy. Jealousy.
Hot tempered.
ATTENTION SEEKER.
What else.
OH yes. You act like you're so confident. But you're just another coward who hides behind a mask that has its smile stretched from cheek to cheek, behind the mask, you're preparing to lose a friend.
Be yourself please. Don't snatch friends this way. Make use of your own.. -coughs, abilities.
TC to others all you want, it's just an temporary happy illusion.

2009-03-14T15:53:00.003+08:00

Cherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrios!
One week holi. Oh yes, that's sexy. <3

Don't feel like posting alrdy.

Got so fucked up.

I posted, I published. And end up with nothing posted.

-.-

Lazy to repost.

♥

--
You wanna chill in my Lamborghini,
You wanna look but you don't wanna see
So what you think of that look in my eyes?
You think it's for you?
You think you read minds?
You better watch where you're putting those hands,
You better stop if you're making more plans
'Coz everything you do makes you look like a fool

You're looking for some dirt,
I'm lifting up my skirt
I'm searching for a light under me in my purse
You always think the worst,
I just wanna flirt
You found me on my knees,
Next thing you're saying "tease"
I'm trying to find my phone and my keys, not your sleaze
My spell is like a curse,
I just wanna flirt

I gotta know, don't you really understand
One syllable words old man?
You got a problem with my space?
Get your look out of my face
'Coz I've had it with your lies
You're pretty damn close to being unfine
'Cuz everything you do makes you look like a fool

♥

2009-03-11T21:13:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I really couldn't take it anymore.
That's why.

9th March '09.
Meet everyone.
Slacked, took bus to Compass.
Celebrated Avin's birthday.
He treat us Pizzahut.
Uh, not entirely treat. We forked alittle. Cus' the bill was like, 90+? -.-
Went home, not so early. :/

10th March '09.
Brenda didn't go to school.
Chinese lesson was supe' quiet.
Aft school went to 113. Usual rc.
Slacked there.
Somethings happened. I just happened to think of everything, and let it all out. ):
Thanks to you, guys.
Everything was over. But it's like I'm still at the scene.
Ohwell.

11th March '09.
Today, was super exciting. Lol.
Class, intercourse socccer thingy. -.-
Gave them moral support. LOL.
Went to 113 immediately w/ Nic and Brenda.
Slacked for 10 mins and went home to change.
Sheena came to my house aftrthat.
I bathed and came out, Avan was outside alrd. :/
Wore the same shirt as Sheena. She's playgirl, I'm playboy. Hee.

Went to 113 agn. The rest came too.
Got screened by two police.
He bad can. Say we guailan. :O

Went to future then.
Zena and Sheena played with that swing thing.
Zena kena hit at the cb. LOL. Sheena got her leg hitted.
Went home at 7.45.

2009-03-08T18:09:00.002+08:00

At homeeeeeeeeeeeee.
First thing, I'm bored. And I'm so gonna spent half of my life sms-ing. -gasp.
Had an "interview" w/ Dummy (Tim).
He says he like Chicken rice & Icelemon tea, Okay, that's the same.
He says he like English & hate Maths. And that's the same too !:D:D:D
He said he had KFC for dinner yesterday & fried rice today.
Well, I had fried rice yesterday and KFC later. Heeeeee.

Dummy says he's gonna be my entertainer forever! And assured me I'm not gonna decompose. So it's his job to make sure I don't rot in my coffin eh. Even if I do, he has to accompany me! ^^

Yesterday til now, my stomach was growling.
Atlast, I smell KFC. :\ And with LEMONTEA. :D
Browsing through the pictures and music in my phone. Too bored. I was stucked in bed smsing Dummy.

Pa bought a 8gb thumbdrive, he said he don't know why he bought it. So I have it for myself. LOL.
$40 bucks leh. I swallowed it. Ohyes.

Brenda says someone is jealous. :/
Jealous all you want~ I dont allow. That's it. ^^
She's so horny anyway.
Both of you. Horny horny horny.
Stay away from me please. ._.

I wanted to go cycling w/ Avin & Avan @ PasirRis.
But serious, I'm god fucking lazy. -.-

Okay, Kfc time. :D

why can't you stay for another week?
quit travelling around.
you're always gone when i need you.

2009-03-07T15:44:00.004+08:00

Finished studying. Haaaa.
I'm like, hungry again. :/
Updated friendster & blog.
RongJun came up to pass me the thumbdrive.
Went to staircase for awhile and he went home.
I wonder how he walk home in this rain.
Oh well.

School's on Monday. Have yet to write a letter.
Prepare for detention. ==!

Rain & thunder, please stop. ~~"

So updates on my wallet, it's currently empty now.
That Thursday, took alot of photos at ACM.
Had a photo of Lynne & Felicia laughing away at Amy's red face.
And a photo of the fat mirror where stand Me Lynne and Brenda.
Also, a photo of them playing the Puzzle pieces competition. Haha.
And there's this "Behind the bars" thing. :o
But because it's just a photo, they can still laugh when they're in jail. ==!

And also all of us in high mood.
Wasn't really fun. Cause I was tired then. :\

Another photo was the scenery. Xiuqin kept staring at hunks when we drove pass the Merlion. Yeah that was, the topic.
And it's the real stone merlion. Not me. x.x

My phone won't last any longer than 1 year.
Although I've just bought it this year, It looks like I've used it for like, 10months alrdy. ~~"

Argh. Still worrying about this.. fucking illness.
See I have excuses alright. :/ I'm lazy to go to the doctors.
This flu just won't go away. zzz!

Had starbucks yesterday. Spent alot of money shopping. Hee.

Little too stupid.
Got too worried.
Spending my tears.
You had smeared.

2009-03-07T00:36:00.003+08:00

Quit barking at me.
Feel more & more stupid each time you turn to another person.
What am I actually.
Forgive you, you take it for granted.
It's already twice.
And now.. What are you saying to others?
Fault. Who's is it?

Happy Birthday Avin.
Friday. Didn't go to school.
Fucking Annual road run. swt. -.-
Save on the coffin, babes.
Went to Parkway instead.
Mark was with Fiona, so I actually, yeah, saw him.
And he's.. not very nice. Can't a Hi be given? :/
Kuku.
Ah yes. Someone came along too. Hee.
Others, don't feel like posting.

Learnt. It's the 3rd lesson.
I paid almost myself into this lesson fee.
And I learnt so much.
It's worth it anyway.
And.. how does it feels like to wake up every morning and finds your fucking eyes swollen?

2009-03-05T20:13:00.003+08:00

I'm still having stomach aches.
Currently, I'm dizzy, having stomachaches, tired and hungry.
I still can't get rid of that.. that fucking cg smell. ==
Today... sucks.
I wanted to skip sch today and had the kinda feeling i would definitely sucess.
But, I thought I can't go out since i'm.. 'sick'.
So, Hell begun.
Trip to ACM.
A Chicken Museum.
:)))))))))))))!

And we made fun of many many things.
And got freaked out for no reasons.
Just because we stared at the. 'creepy things' for too long.
It's gives us the chills. Ugh.

Met Avan. Then slacked at 113, awhile.
As usual, someone's bag is always full of stuffs. STUFFS. -.-
Then saw Shna. Then Zna.
Then all started.
Comes Nic & Weifong.
Followed by Avin Weiliang & Jillian.
Slowly the rest came, Cherine, Kahming, Derrick, Yaode and all.
Puff-ed abit.
Went to Weifong's house.
Jumped on his bed, gambled and all that.
Then Eileen & Elice came. A welcome hug for her. :>

Nothing to post aftrthat. :D

Happy Ending.

2009-03-03T17:50:00.003+08:00

I'm sure some bloody idiots are cursing behind my back.

Like, seriously. My Maths CT, thank heavens, I passed! 29/50 I think.

Not up to expectation but yeah, I passed. -.-

$#@!.

And, my previous test pass too. 6/10. HAHAHA.

Pissed and tired.

PE was o-k. Cause we only had to run 2 rounds, but XQ and me didn't bother at all. In fact, the most we did was jog. :/?

Fucked up w/ Willis. Double direct shots of head ball.

And that didn't score any points. It scored a bump on my head.

Can't he aim properly. The toilet is definitely full of urine when he step out.

Go practice your aiming. Not even a sorry. Wth. _l_ la. -.-

Break was so, uh-huh, usual.

It was History then. What we usually call, 'Nightmare'.

He scolded and scolded. Nagged and nagged.

Can't we play more learn less? Hel-lo? We're born genius. -rollseye. (LOL)

After awhile, Art.

We have to draw stuffs found in pictures they gave us. And color it with.. those 3 colors.

I drew a lolipop.

YM drew a ball.

Some stupidy drew a snail. >.>

"The snail is too black that we can hardly see! "Good" job!" says Mr Haikal sacarsticly.

Oh yeah. Have anyone seen blue + yellow snail shells? Or with red flesh or any bright colors?

-gasp.

Maths was terrible.

I think 1/4 of the lesson was spent on scoldings.

And the other 1/4 of the lesson was spent on shutting the class up.

Sooner or later, the teachers would be admitted to ICU due to blood vessel burst.

Don't worry, we will definitely visit them, for it was our good work.

Got held back by her for the maths. >:(

It was just simplifying. Why can't you simplify for me!?

JUST FRACTIONS. Haven't your mom taught you to help others often? God.

Miss cupcup, you deserve more than that slap.

What cup are you wearing by the way, cupsquared?

CCA.

Made me boil at the thought of it.

Yeah right. I was absent for EVERY lesson eh?

Must the tcher put it in such a way that sounds like I'm not interested?

Replaced by another girl.

I'm SO g'nna throw my temper. :))))))

"It's so unfair!", -folds my arms, swing my head hard and walks off bimboticly.

If anyone were to see me doing that action, I'm sure their reaction would be

.
.

Oh silly. I won't do that delibrately infront of anyone.
Especially those that often attend ccas just to bully her juniors.
Ohwell. :\

Friday would be having Annual road run @ Punggol Park.
Ya so guys, alert please.
Do prepare a coffin for me near the river at PunggolPark.
I might just die there, so yeah. ^^

Next Friday school would be having Musical Nite.
Anyone interested can go. Nobody cares whether you're a family/relative of the students or not, it's okay.. I suppose. LOL.
I'm not going. Definitely.
First. I'm fucking not performing. So I don't wanna go. LOL.
Second. It's waste of time.
Thirdly. It's a shit Friday 13th.

Please excuse me. I'm so not gonna go. And staying at home.
Veron is bully.
Bully.
Bully.
Bully.
-gives out my ultra screeching scream.
And runs off.

2009-02-28T11:22:00.002+08:00

That was so.. familiar.
Like I've said it somewhere, or did it ago.

Today wasssssss, tiring.
I still feel like sleeping even when I slept dupy early yesterday.
I just had my kfc breakfast. Heehee.
Updated Friendster and tagzxsuh.

Yesterday was.. Friday yep.
After school went to 113 voiddeck. And waited for them.
Weiliang came, and then the rest. Was kinda funny cause I think it's the first time they see me reading a book. A booooooooook ! !#$%@
They wanted to go compass point. I didn't want to go, neither did Johnathan. We pasted elephant glue on our butts and sat.
Kahming stole my bag~
We stayed there until Johnathan stood up to buy cig.
Then Jillian called and said matamata. For idontknow what reasons, the glue came off so my butt went away. ^^
And I wanted to go home and change. The 2 of them, too.
.
.
.
Went to compasspoint to meet Jillian.
Eileen was super hot in her halter.
We kept laughing outside 711.
Wanted to aim for things, but Elice said there wasn't any nice sweets around.
swt?
Skip those boring conversations.
We walked to Sculpture Park. And the guys brought along fucking loads of umbrella plastic bag.
they blow it. And bomb it behind our ears.
God knows where it will next appear at. So we walked behind.
Even when they came from infront, we still get shocked. That was when I was pulling Jillian's arms and she was pulling mine too and we were like, so afraid we will be the next one bomb-ed.
Argh, we still did anyway.

Reached Sculpture and watched them make a scene.
Seriously, they are like, so, humourous. Or how should I put it, funny?
The way they say things is like, wtf manzx. LOL.

We spotted Joshua's .. zip.
It was huge opened like the kopitiam door.
Jillian said it out loud when I whisper it to her. Wth.
LOL. He pull his pants down.
Obviously, we screamed. LOL.

Next, the joke was on me.
I drank green tea.
And with each sip and take, they have something funny.
Or maybe it was JILLIAN who made it funny. (I think she knows it. ==)
They said it. I laughed it out. LOL.
And the green tea flew out too.
So, they opened Jillian's umbrella and cover themselves. LOL.
I continued to laugh. Wth.
So now I have a fucking nickname.
Merlion.
-gasp.
Ok, I hate them now. -.-
Joshua took the umbrella and started singing.
''Ella, eh eh under my umbrella.''
Then the other side screamed back too.
It was like a bboy match. LOL.

After xiaonic came, we walked back to compass to take bus 80 to Future park.
While waiting for the bus, the guys were havoc please. ==
I said Yaode looked like beggar, just that he was lack of one rotten hat. LOL.
He glared at me like I killed his father mother. :/
He stood up and chase aftr me. --
Jillian make him also. She kicked his leg. LOL.
Fucking hell, we screamed.
He didn't chase anymore. And he just said something that freaked us out.
''On the bus then you know'' In chinese.
Yewchong, I hit his head.
looool. He started chasing also. LOL.
I hid behind Jillian and Elice.
He took the hot pink umbrella which i call it gaygay, and hit our leg.
Wth. ==
Up on the bus, we took the back row.
They were late so, ya. they sat on both side, facing each other. (They refers to only those 2)
The rest went deck 2.
Yaode then hit my head. Shit you. -.-

When we reached, we went to FP's voiddeck where there's a vending machine. Just right, 6 seats.
When I finally place my butt down, Yewchong ask me to move. But Elice is beside me. ==
Just slacked there for quite awhile.
Threw bottle caps, laughed like shit, and all that.
Yewchong and Yaode left afterthat.

Later, went to the 2nd level of BBall court.
Sat there and took a few puffs.
Then Eddie, Ivan and another 2, i forgot their name, came. LOL.
I got Ivan to cycle me around.
Jillian was.. the sweating guy. LOL.
Aft that we exchange. LOL.
I took the super sweat.
It was alr night time. Fun fun fun, cycled the whole round of futurepark.
Then Eileen cycled me around.
While she cycled, she talked too much. Air went in her stomach and she vomited hell load.
Aftwards, went to bakau stn to fetch Alvin.
I'm like super short beside him laa. ==
Johnathan and Avan came back.

Jillian and I got crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy over hunks. LOL.
She didn't want me to steal her guy. ;_;
I'm not so evil one okay! >:(

Went home with Johnathan and Avan. ((((:

Merlion! Merlion! Merlion!

2009-02-26T20:54:00.002+08:00

All these words are meant for you.
All that I did, all these. all these little things.
All for you.
Countless of times, tears roll like riceballs.
What happened to you?
If i really changed, it won't be as much as you, not even half.
How much have you changed? Let's see then.

You used to be so trueful that you won't do anything to hurt us.
You're doing it now.

You used to say things that are true and very true to us.
You're only saying 1/4 of the truth now.

I noticed that you're changing ever so quickly.
You are totally a different person, changed before I could recognise you.
I dont know how to handle such a pierce anymore.
I'll let it pierce for the final time, and let it end.
I don't mind letting the needle stay forever. For it was a gift from you. Last one.

It still, does.

2009-02-25T17:37:00.004+08:00

Each time I see you, you remind me of happiness.

Reached home at about, 5.10pm.
Thunder was roaring like, fug.
They go groargroargroar.

And it looks abit.. like that:

._."

Each time I think of you, reminds me of both tears and fears.

Let's see.. yesterday had Maths CT. Was fucking easy. But just because it's easy, doesn't mean I get to score. Seriously, I can't do stuffs that are easy. I turn them upside down and made them fucking complicated. I'm pissed. I calculated wrongly and.. wth. -.-
I'm definitely gonna pass, but I doubt I'd get an A. _l_ you, Ferlynn.

Tears represents both tears of joy and sadness.

Today, had both Art and Home Econ CT.
Art was, simple but it appears kinda cheem. -.-
Home Econ.. I bwg alr. == Firstly, I study things that didn't come out.
Secondly, THEY GIVE QUESTIONS THAT I DIDN'T EVEN READ UP ON.
Thirdly, I left 3 empty blanks. OMGGGGGGGGG. -crys out loud.
But I completed both papers quite early. Just thought it might turn out that I've not enough time for art. And the thing about art is, our art teacher came for barely 2 lessons. ==?
They expect us to.. like, you know. Omg. SCORE!? Fuck off please.
How to score for art when we learnt nothing and they expect us to read on our own from textbooks!? Fk you. LOL.

Fear represents fear of you lying again and again, and fear myself for being a stupid person.

After school met Jillian, Eileen, Alvin and Edmund.. I think. Lol.
The whole time I was playing with DS. Didn't laugh much today, cause we were quiet in Mac. (I supposed.. )
I went home when Jillian did, cause thunder was roaring.
I can roar louder than you, thunder! -glares.
Pray hard that I score for CTs.
Tomorrow cca resumed. Zzz.
I wanna request to go out of SYF. Just heard that they submitted the names.
Gah.

Life is fair, more than tofu's skin.
If it all happened at a chapel, I would have been e runaway bride.
What more can I gain from all these tears?

2009-02-21T18:38:00.002+08:00

God knows what's gonna happen on Monday.
God bless Ferlynn okay. <3
The last time I saw Jsn was so long ago.
I cleared my inbox yesterday.
I read all the saved messages.

And I started laughing. lol.
He sent me this:
"God saw me without food, he created hamburgers.
God saw me without water, he created coke.
God saw me without troubles, he created you !"

Wth right. I almost wanted to smash him at that time when he send me this.

Anyway. Start the stuffs from Thursday. Aft school went to meet .. Jillian all that at a block.
And started ~ We moved on to Macs.
And can't help but laugh when that uncle shouted at us.
'mei you gong de xin!'
Still say we selfish. >:(

What the hell we do. LOL.
He not happy hit my butt lah. Uncle I give you aiming. ^^
-draws an 'X' on my butt. LOLOLOL.

We moved to KFC. Cause we're too famous thr ady. HAHAHA. x.x
And there, we continued to make a scene.
Laughlaughlaugh. -.-

Johnathan is poopking. LOL.

Yesterday, went to meet also.
Then went to KFC awhile.
Laughed alittle. Didn't break yesterday's record.
Funniest thing was only Avan's hole in the pants. LOL.
We climbed through the gate.
Thn went home to bath. And went out again.
Meet others and.. er, slack?
Aftr tht, Avin came. And then Scott.
His buy 1 get 10 free gifts, one was slotted to my phone.
I think it's cry day anyway. -.-

Today, stayed at home. Sleep sleep sleep.
I can cfm they (Brnda Alvin Kahming Avan) playing Truth/dare.
-.-
It's fucking stupid. LOL.

stay away from love.

2009-02-18T22:05:00.002+08:00

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Judge a book by it's color.
LOL.
I've something to share.
I was talking to huiting in msn.. and we so happened to turn our topic to .. you know.
And you see.

- ★! Judge a book by it's colour. says:
Royalty = Sexy.
:D
♠, Royalty. Dangerous. says:
Oh yes
-shakes neh
LOL.
- ★! Judge a book by it's colour. says:
LOL, shakes kuku
♠, Royalty. Dangerous. says:
omg.
its shaking!
-COVERS EYE
- ★! Judge a book by it's colour. says:
OMG, IT'S VIBRATING SIA.
♠, Royalty. Dangerous. says:
LOL.
- ★! Judge a book by it's colour. says:
-starring
♠, Royalty. Dangerous. says:
omg.
the balls are falling!
-brings plate infront
LOLLOLOL
- ★! Judge a book by it's colour. says:
LOL!!
-put icecream on top
:D

Seriously.
People are getting more and more horny, just like Brenda. Hais.
LOLLLL.

Today.. kena torture.
Wth man. They steal my stuffs, dig out my secrets, read my messages and molest me.
LOLOLOL.
And do I look like a drawing paper !? >:(
They start to say I'm dangerous.
That's, very good. LOL.
It's like they will stay away from you, ya? :D
Let's see what I did today okay.
I molested Joel.
Stole sis's icecream.
screamed alot.
LOLLL.

And I reallllllllllly want,
.
.
.
.
.
to scold Jasmine til she's fucked upside down.
):

2009-02-17T19:01:00.002+08:00

People. Auto abit lah.
You want talk you sms me.
Don't hide behind your fucking keyboard.
Put your fucking name.

I got back my Prada.
Oh so sweet-ah right. LOL.
I jumped like I'm in kindergarten when I got it back.
But another things came.
Policeeeeeeeeeee Case.
;_;
2nd warning alr.
-crrrrrrrrrrrrrrys.

So many things happened.
Today History Common Test.
Wth. I don't know how to do. LOL.
Tikam tikam k. x.x
Tmr.. MT.
Then Thurs Lit. YES! LIT. LOL.
Ok lah. Pray hard hard for me please. :DDDDDDDDDDD
And I've more things to settle. Pray also.
LOL.
<3Ten.

2009-02-15T16:16:00.002+08:00

Some tips on making other's impression on you BRIGHTEN up. LOL.
From friendster, concentrate on your background.
From games, concentrate on being bhb.
LOL.

School..
So what, we're the first class.
So what, we're supposed to be disciplined.
So what.
We should go to E5
LOL. the last express class. Maybe they won't control dao so .. strict.
Can request one anot? :/

And I really miss my Prada.

Ytd slept at 4am. -.-
Thanks to someone.
Who force me to drink water.
DRINK LA DRINK LA. Chao si le.
Another one beside me keep singing.
Both chicken and pig. -.-

I miss my Prada.

My mother told me about her story just now.
So I cried. ;_;
4.30pm.. what can I do. >.>
I'm like so bored lah
Some horny girl booked me for today de actually.
And she told me outing not confirmed, so not going out.
Like wth.
So I'm rotting now.

And I miss my Prada.

Anyway. I can't imagine what will happen on Monday.
So many stuffs.
Argh.

Prada~

When will my wallet come back sia
Horny told me it will be back soon.
Grrr.
Yesterday chat w/ Serene.
We were talking about Bananas.
Bananas shake.
Bananas juice.
LOL.
She say rotten bananas are nice.
Wth.
She's sick.
And I still missssssssssssssss her. LOL.

Love Prada.

2009-02-13T21:17:00.002+08:00

Tsssssssssk.
My illness still haven't fly fly away.
Fever used to be my best friend. Lol.
Now I call it my old friend. :/ See, fever love me so much.
Bzzz.
I just realised human beings have a habit of copying.
When they realised someone did something that outstand what they did, they will try to use that 'someone's' idea and try to "start out" something "new".
W/e.

In Audition, saw clonerssssss. Noticed that there's an s. ==
Also saw my name. LOLLLL.
So.. out of nowhere the horny conversation started again. swt.
Pradaaaa. I miss you.

Like a bitch.
Just like the kettle calling the cooking pot chaotah.
See, you're such a hypocrite.
And you yourself is not even worth a bitch, yet calling others a bitch.
Zzz.
Why can't you be original yourself?
Fuck. See. I'm scolding again.

2009-02-12T21:34:00.004+08:00

I missed alot of stuffs.
Some were, thank goddness.
Some were, like oh shit mama. -.-

Like fuck. I'm damn suay now. I think I should stay at home til i regain my usual luck.
You see, yesterday I lost my Prada. And I was fucking pissed.
And then, I got caught by the bimbo for my nails, shirt un-tucked and fringe etc.
Today. Was damn fucked up.
I got headache in the morning and flu.
I bathed and realised I was having fever.
So I didn't go to school. Sorry benda.
I went to Hougang to visit doctor. Darling Clinic.
But you know, I went there and found that clinic was closed on thursday nights. Shit.
And I searched for another clinic, Thank god it was opened. I went in and the auntie asked me, what I want. I said I wanted the doctor. And she said the doctor didn't come. Fuck.
I went back to the normal clinic and they say it reached closing hour. Too many people.
Forget it.
I flagged for the taxi and went back to Rivervale Plaza.
Went to the Clinic beside the bicycle rental shop.
Henghengheng, it wasn't full, doctor present, not closed.
So that's all lo.
Stupid. How unlucky can I get now. Zzz.
I dont care ok, stupid bimbo. I will still tuck out. still leave my fringe LIKE THAT. _l_

I miss kbox.
And. I really miss you.

Fever, please go away.
It was killing me.
Tears appeared you know. ;_;
I wonder if today have cca.
I didn't come, will I kena kick out? Lol.
Hais.

(Added)
The first time I had a high fever, it was killing me.
At that time, no one was at home. I didn't know what to do. I was only Pri5 then.
And he, who was also having a high fever, brought me onto his motor and rushed to the clinic.
The scene was clear. I still remembered. He told me to take my medicine regularly. And said I had to rest. I closed my eyes and sleep, then he went off.
I only had one thing in mind, he cared alot for me.
Thanks, JJ.

Right now it's my Grandmother.
When she rushed up and down for me, I only had one thing in mind.
I will regret if I dont cherish her now.

JJ & Grandma. ^^

2009-02-09T17:19:00.002+08:00

Sex education today.
LOL.
Brenda was like, so horny please.
She keeps masturbating. ~~ LOL.
Molested me like shit somemore. ;_;

Like, seriously. China(s) are fuckin' despos.
My boyfriend left me~ *runs home & cry.
Your boyfriend want what. Only 2 things lah. Sex and Money
What else can a guy think of?
Porn. Porn. Porn. Right people? ^^
Just because of yr kukunehneh boyfriend, I'm scared. Oh right.
We don't need guys to settle our stuffs. Especially when he's without any balls.
Can't you settle stuffs on your own?
Don't act so cowardly and run off to tip off the teachers when you have no pillar to lie on.
When you have your boyfriend, you what, not happy jiu find people tj.
Break alr, damn guai. Shutup and study lah! -.-
Wear jacket for what. Too cold izzit. I HUG YOU LAH. HOT ALR.
Nah, sorry. I forgot I'm attached to my lesbian. :/

I love brenda you know.
For my birthday, I've got like, a treasure hunt specially made for me.
And yes! It was so fucking big that I look like a pasa malam auntie when I was carrying it.
Nevermind. Who cares. I'm just lazy to hold it.
YOU ALL OWE ME PRESENTS AH. >:(

We chatted about two things today.
JUST THESE TWO THINGS.
Boys and Sex.
LOL.
Sex was, when she was masturbating and she's like so into me and wanted to fuck fuck fuck me and that was all she could think of in her puny little brain. -.-
Boys.
Oh forget it.
She gave me stupid advices when I wasn't very sure whether to listen or ignore. It was like,
"Don't stead."
Five minutes later..
"Choose one lah!"

Wth. So.. unsure of her own stand. LOL.
And.. coming back to Sex Education.
We learnt about..
Ejaculation. LOL.
Wet dreams. LOL.
Hair. LOL.
And they even taught us masturbation.
Okay not really masturbate but, yeah the topic was right there.
Anyway. they gave us a survey form and wanted us to fill in
I remembered one part where they say
"Comments / Remarks :"
And we wrote our comments :
"learnt masturbation & sex behaviour"
LOL. Thank god I didn't write my name. x.x

The.. you know. Mcdonalds.
We thrashed each other there.
Brenda didn't let me cross over.
She said
"Kiss me to cross over or I fuck you."
Wth.
She's ever ever everrrrr so horny. Why do I still love her so much. -gaaaasp.

Bye Earthlings. >:D

2009-02-08T22:09:00.003+08:00

Reached home at about, 9.30.
Kinda' late, :/
Classssss! Tomorrow have Home Economics ah.
Bring yr container. Apron. Cloth.
If not you dieeeeeee. ^^

Morning, woke up at around, ten?
Didn't want to get off the bed, lazy butt. --
Had a fucking nightmare.
I dreamt that.. I was going to the cinema.
And I'm like, lazy to queue up, so I just ran into the cinema without tickets or whatever.
For I dont know what reasons, the guard came to catch me, they chased me, and I ran.
I hid and hid and hid. Like wth. (It was really scary. I cried in the dream.)
And I was alone, my family was looking for me. (I knew I'm gonna be behind the bars if i came out)
So I continued to hide.
In the end, my mother and aunt found me. I ran again.
They found me again, and I tried to run. But the police was chasing.
I shouted like fuck. ==
The police was there, right beside me.
I shouted at my mother 'Send me to girls' home lah.'
And she said 'Yes I will send you there. But give me your handphone.'
And I cried. That's when I woke up.

I was like, so afraid when I opened my eyes. For everything seems to be so real. Images were clear, voices was near.
And I was going for a movie later. That freaked me out.

Let's continue:
I woke up, bathed and went out.
Met Gerald and went to buy the tickets for "Love Matters";NC16.
The show was at 4.30. So we went to walk arnd the mall.
So boringggggggggg. :/ Its was like, going round and round the same place. It's PS btw.
We went in the cinema safely.
(Safely as in, no guards were chasing aftr me. And no one caught me under 16.)
The show damn funny.
This was the conversation between the wife and husband:

W: Give me a valid reason why I must make love w/ you.
H: It's Valentine's Day.
W: Invalid!
H: I'm your husband.
W: Invalid!
H: My sperm reached custom.
W slapped him.

LOL. There's alot of funny stuffs.
Another conversation between a female and male:

F: I dont understand why are guys so into pornography and so hao se.
M: You cannot blame us! It's not our fault.
F raises eyebrow.
M: God created us this way to maintain mankind. So that human cycle continues. If not how can there be children?
F: So it's God's fault?
M: Yes.
F rolls eye.

Cute right. LOL.
Another, this is a family thing. x.x A mother, Father and son.
This son, in school, he needs to practice singing a song that goes like this..
"我的青春小鸟一去不回来~"

In his parent's room:
Both husband and wife were quarreling cause the husband's _ can't stand.

W: A men only have 50000 times in his life. Have you used up all?
H: 50000 times? Cannot be wh-..
W: Means you cannot already! Such a men!
Wife walks off.

In son's room:
我的青春小鸟一去不回来~
我的青春小鸟一去不回来~

Husband walks into his room and shouted and him.
"GOT SO MANY SONG CAN SING WHY MUST YOU SING THIS SONG!?"
"GO SLEEP!"

LOL!
Fker sia. I laughed like shit pls. ==
Ok lah. I think I talked too much about the movie.
Aft the movie we had Carl's Jr.
I wasn't very hungry. x.x
Still stuffed the beefy burger into my mouth.
I still left half the burger. LOL.
Gerald say I look like some Hk superstar.
yayyyyyyyyyyyys to me right. LOL.

HELLO. It's your honour to be reading a superstar's blog you know. LOL.
Ok lah. Nothing happened afterwards.
Audi awhile go sleep. ^^

He still didn't react to 7th Febuary. Hais.

2009-02-07T16:54:00.003+08:00

I need time to get used to it.
2008 of today, I started smiling everyday.
You know the kinda' feeling that you know you just had to wake up for someone.
Just for that someone.
Yet it's gone.
Why am I even blaming you. Forget it. I'll just wait. Til Valentines' Day.
Our first meeting place. Please remember.
If not, i really have to give up.

Nothing much today.
Tomorrow gng out.

Ever so boring. Bzz.
Will be heading to Gma's house later.
Her birthday. She's having a Jap food Event.
Hope it'll be cheering. (:

2009-02-04T15:50:00.002+08:00

Wth la. 3 times only. Like that also scold.
Must be lenient on me what. Stupid monkey chrmaine.

Today.. today..
schooool. D:
Woke up early cus' I slept earlier than Reunion Dinner Movie.
Right, and I met Brenda & Avan like, at 6.45?
I rushed down like a momping elephant.

Avan took bus 119. Cheebye okay. We late, and its re-eaaaal late. DD:
So er ya, we got the fuckin' offence slip.
I told him I was the first time late, so he let me off.
Oh yes. Cute lil' botak. LOL.

Anyway, lessons today was super nice.
It's either sleeping or writing.
How nice. *claps.

Maths.

Boring, as usual.
Requested to change seats but she still insist on changing another day. sighs~

IPW.

Lousy period. Forget that.

English.

Super nice.
Brenda moved over to the empty seat beside me.
I slept abit.

Recess, As usual.

Geography.

Slept 3/4 of the lesson. and someone dont let me sleep.
Keep poking me. ==

Music.

Kena seperated. LOL.
Funny ok. I still got the..
BOOBSMACKER. LOL.

Science.

Oh shiok.
All relief tchers funny one. LOL.
One like ET,
One like tiko.
One like ahma.
LOL.
Ok lah. I slept for 2 periods.
And finished the work in 1 period. :D

Off to audi. :D

2009-02-02T00:45:00.003+08:00

please lah. don't disgust me. I'm posting thanks to you.
I seriously hate you now.
Fucking flirt. If you wanna be attached to 26 girlfriends, or more(?), at a time, count me fucking out.
Another thing is, dont think you
-dye blonde
-smoke.
i scared you.
wth sei. you flirt one girl how long, 3 days? 1 week? or 1.5 week?
Or maybe just a day, you call them your girlfriend.
EH PLEASE. DONT SO.. SELF CLAIM LAH. YOU THINK YOU OWN THE WHOLE WORLD's GIRLS?
Wth. And you're like, calling all girls " darling" , "baby" , "sweetie". Anymore?
Dear. Argh. Whatever you can think of.
Meet for what. Sex? Go geylang lah. Wth.
Find one girl fk until sian then what. byebye.
sick of flirts. I fucking despise you.
You're forever single. So don't say you're attached to whoever or whatever. _l_

--
It's Sunday. Okay It's monday. But it's still sunday jsut now. Lol.
Morning, Lion dance came for a lil' bangbang.
The caishen damn hot. LOL.
Went out like, so shiok.
Had brunch, and headed to shopping @ taka.
I bought my dance necessities. :D
Then went for night movie.
Like about, 10pm show.
Its the.. All's well end's well?
Funny ok. Lol.
Tomorrow.. home econ.
Argh. I hate times that we have to face v..
you know, it's jsut like he's gonna swallow my bones. or maybe even digest me.
;_;
thinking of how am i suppose to go through the times.. sian half. -.-
someone in audi become spicy babe ady. woots.
okay I'm tired.
I'm going to sleep.

--
Others:

Aye. Horoscope and some other things.
I read and extracted one part. I find it really true.

Other changes that may influence your body image include a shift in physical or moral behavior, such as smoking, drinking, using drugs, becoming sexually active, or participating in sexual experiences you once considered taboo.

Alright. Next.
Tarot Cards. Super zhun. Woo.

Your Personality Motivator Card
(Star)
(Upright) You're an extrovert and enjoy being the center of attention. You thrive on recognition, but perhaps being an opportunist, you could tend to overlook or feel threatened by the achievements or needs of others. Your desire for the limelight often puts you in the right place at the right time, but might result in leading a double life, or exposing a disparity between your public and private personas. Sudden success could cause you to be dazzled or caught up by the spectacle of it all, or you may behave like a diva. Your confidence and self-esteem probably come from external sources that are unpredictable, fickle, fleeting, or beyond your control, but your ego may be willing to pay the price.

(Reversed) You may be uncomfortable or embarrassed by being the center of attention, and may prefer to be "behind the scenes," but a simple act or opportunity could thrust you into the spot light, at least temporarily. You may be dazzled, confused, intimidated, or frozen like a deer in the headlights, susceptible to flattery or unscrupulous advice. Issues with confidence, self-esteem, or recognition could cause you to withdraw or to be taken advantage of by opportunists. You just may not be ready, or in the right place at the right time for success yet. Things happen for a reason, and sometimes they don't click no matter how hard you try. You can make it if you don't give up.

Your Annual Development Card
Devil.
(Upright) This year you might try to resist change, become overly materialistic, selfish, or fail to recognize your own self-imposed limitations, addictions, or hang ups. There might be hidden things about you that you won't acknowledge, and you might come to believe that if you deny, escape, laugh them off, or cover them up, they won't exist. They will be there, however, with you always, and won't go away until you resolve to free yourself from unhealthy, restrictive, dysfunctional, excessive, or obsessive desires, secrets, or situations. You are the only one who will have the power to overcome, make the choice, accept responsibility, or see the light, but this may not be the year that you get it yet, and could instead, blame others for your lack of control. You know you shouldn't, but you probably will. Expect a reality check just before the noose tightens or before it is too late.

(Reversed) This year could present temptations or cause you to fall victim to selfish or materialistic urges. After overcoming hang ups, self-imposed limitations, dysfunctions, or obsessive desires, secrets or situations, you could tend to swing too far in the other direction, becoming a self-righteous, judgmental prude, ashamed, or too serious, tending only to necessity. Fearing consequences or dysfunction, you may simply exist; trying to get through the day or the year without regression or set backs, but you may feel suffocated or be in danger of hanging yourself with your own rope of fear. Learn to confront your own devils, and let others come to see the light on their own.

Too true to be true. ):

Cheena.

2009-01-29T23:57:00.006+08:00

Hi Earthlings.

I'm going to sleep soon. Just a slight review on what happened these few days. :D

Sunday, First day of CNY.
Extreme boring. -sighs loudly.
Got a few Red packets! :D
Notice that it's few. (LOL)
Went to temple after that.
Two girls were eyeing at us. Ohwell, that makes me a superstar eh?

Monday, Second day.
First, went to the place I went on Sunday.
Then moved on to Grandfather's Mother's house. Right, messed.
And then, we spent the most time at my Grandmother's sister's house. I call her yipo. LOL.
She cute okay. ♥♥♥♥♥
Best is like, we played like crazy that day.
We went to macdonalds and oh that's so nice.
I got them to buy me a cup corn.
I mixed ketchup, pepper, salt and butter inside.
I covered and shakeshakeshake.
They were staring at me when I started my recipe.. :/

It's nice you know. I don't know why they were disgusted.
It tastes heavenly. ♥ LOL.
I dropped some lil' corns into Kuan's Mcflurry. He was, WTF LA.
LOL. He moved one seat away from me, I can't stop laughing.

.

.

.

Yesyes.
Next.
Tuesday.
Everyone came.
My house was, packed like sardine. Yes! I used a good phrase!
Ok and we went mac again.
Usual recipe. It's my homemade bbq sauce.
Fun.
Too fun for words.

Beyond Description.
I love them all. ♥

Went from Playground to Basketball court, futurepark then mcdonalds.
The basketball got stucked on.. the back plate?
check out my friendster for the picture.

Took some photos too. Uploaded in friendster.

Wed.
Went to Cousin's house.
STILL VERY FUN. LOL.
Photograph-ed alot.

But actually not all nice. -_-
Played Daidee, Uno too.

This is hilarious. LOL.

Today, Nothing much.
Okay I'm going to sleep.
Goooooooooooooooodnightzxs.

It's 31st January, 11.15am.

MorningD:
I slept hell lot today.
Not in the mood to post, so er..
Bye.

this is the worst birthday i ever had. _l_
even though last year was a short bash.
but i felt the fun, i felt them, i felt myself there.
so what about birthday? It's just a fuckin' cake.

2009-01-24T11:15:00.002+08:00

You're too much.
This song suits you alot.

*I removed some parts so this is not the original soundtrack.

Crush - Jennifer.

I see ya blowin' me a kiss
It doesn't take a scientist
To understand what's going on baby
If you see something in my eye
Let's not over analyze
Don't go too deep with it baby

So let it be what it'll be
Don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me
Here's what I'll do
I'll play loose
Not like we have a day with destiny

It's just a little crush
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you
~~~~~

It's raising my adrenaline
You're banging on a heart of tin
Please don't make too much of it baby
You say the word "forever more"
That's not what I'm looking for
All I can commit to is "maybe"

So let it be what it'll be
Don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me
Here's what I'll do
I'll pay loose
Not like like we have a day with destiny

*It's just a little crush
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you
~~~~~~~~~~

Vanilla skies (vanilla skies)
White picket fences in your eyes
A vision of you and me

Repeat*

You can't stop me from having my own circle of friends.
You can't push them away.
It's years. Fucking years of memories.
All spoilt, because of you again.
Fuck.

I was thinking of putting up some lyrics.
I heard this song.
So I placed it up. And CONCENTRATED on SOME PARTS of the lyrics.
There's more :

My Heart - Jennifer Hudson.

Whats up girl? let me holler at you for a second.
I just want you to know all of those other girls they never meant anything to me.
Your the only one for me

Verse1:
You turned me on, sounds so good talking fast.
But before we go on there's something I should ask.
Not about your past cause I dont care who came before me.
No, my maturity is bigger than that.
I am more curious about what you truely want, do i sense sincerity or just good talk.
I dont care about the rumor mill but be understanding how you truly feel for me.
And yeah I want you sexually.

C:
But I aint talking bout that, aint talking bout them,
(aint talking bout her) aint talking bout him
(i'm talking bout trust) im talking bout truth
(i'm talking bout me) and what im giving you
(this is my heart) please take care
(this is my heart) always be there
(this is my heart) something you cant take
So whatever you do don't break my heart.

V2
Some girls are satisfied with cash in hand
And some girls are happy just to have a man
But my heart has my way to never put her in the way of harm
So even though I like your charm.

C:
But I aint talking bout that, aint talking bout them,
(aint talking bout her) aint talking bout him
(im talking bout trust) im talking bout truth
(im talking bout me) and what im giving you
(this is my heart) so treat it like gold
(this is my heart) pretend that its yours
(this is my heart) its too valuable to bruise
So whatever you do please dont lose my heart

Bridge;
One night aint gone get you no where, there's so much to learn.
And what you dedicate to me you'll get back in return.
Now my bedroom game is sick, and thats only the half of it.
(I need love) Im tired of the same.
(Give love) and no games

But I aint talking bout that, aint talking bout them,
(aint talking bout her) aint talking bout him
(i'm talking bout trust) im talking bout truth
(i'm talking bout me) and what i'm giving you
(this is my heart) so before you tell lie
(this is my heart) draw me a line
(this is my heart) pain shows up
So whatever you do please don't break my heart

-

Updating my blog later.
Will be puting up a song too.
Don't get pissed with it.
lol.
40% of downloading Audi now.
Still waiting. -.-
Nothing much to say.
Bye people. <3

2009-01-22T18:59:00.003+08:00

Stupid MGirl. You don't have to comment on everything you see. Malay go suck cock lah. __
Don't like it don't say anything. Go back malaysia lah. Come here for what, go masturbate with yr father lah. Cheebu. You very dua pai izzit. Think you what. Air stewardess ah. They taller than you laa hor. They thinner than you. They are not as fat and round as you. So brown still talk so much. Frankly speaking, your butt very big ok. Don't think that thing big and round I scared. I think is air inside laa hor. Stupid Pekhor.

Wasted my post space. LOOK. It's ruined, totally. -rolls eyes.
I'm like,

now laaa. Grr.
Let's see.. It's Thursday now.
My last post was on Sunday! -.-
Okay. Monday.. what happened on monday..?
Ah yes! HOME ECON!
♥♥♥
I'm exciteeeeeeeeed about the next lesson.
LOL. We made Pizzazx. Bread though. Not dough. Oh dough. Oh dough. Ohhhhhh dough!
They are sss-ohhhh expensive. That's what they say. Oh well. We "grilled" the bread.
I partnered with CX.
Fun alright. Anyway. I ate the pizza on the way home. NICENICENICE.
Just that if only there wasn't any tomatos or greens. D:

Next, Tuesday. Let's see again.. What's the event on Tuesday..
Art. Suck cock. Forgot bring everything.
Walked home. Nothing much.

Wednesday.. Errrrrr.
Nothing much too.
Sch bababa.
Ok. I remembered. Fuck man. Sch's 2 phone lost.
Kena accused you know. Just because of our records. :/
After school met with Avin.
Another.. guy(?), too.
Went to staircase and they go pocky.
Aiya. I'm smart. Stayed away.
My poor Vanilla bread dropped on the floor. I ate the inner part.
Still nice. Still fresh. Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheehee.
Saw alot of Mata on the way home. Heng. Go home fast.
The couple. They are.. oh-so-h-or-ny. -screams. LOL.

I wanna watch "Love Matters"
Kay that's random.

Today, Thursday.
Had.. what lesson ah.
Ok I remembered.

(English)
During English lesson, the teacher was fucked up with us. Cause we chitchatchitchat screamshoutscreamshout. She almost burst a vessel.
Done some Grammer. Smsed and chatted.

(Geography)
Talked about !Kung Stuffs.
Kalahari or something Desert.
Have a project. Didn't want someone to join in.
GRADE 12~
HAHAH.

(Recess)
FINALLY. I STOPPED BURGERS. LOL.
Ate Mee or something. I said I love burgers. But I said burgers sucks today.
Contradicting eh? Oh yes, i used a complicated word!
Birdnest-ed again today.

(Mathematics)
Sucks, ever.
I'm so gonna hate Maths now.
All because of you!!! Sounds familiar.

(Chinese)
A mini "common" test.
Nothing much.
Cheated though. Used phone dic.

(History)
Sucks too.
Look, he doesn't scold others when their skirt is ABOVE KNEEE.
WHY CATCH ME.
EVEN WHEN MINE REACHES KNEE, ONLY 1 SMALL FINGER SPACING.
OMGWTFBBQ.
THEIRS IS LIKE, 3 FINGERS SPACING.
NEVER TUCK IN, THEY WALK INFRONT OF YOU, YOU DON'T CARE.
CATCH ME FOR WHAT SIA.
CHICKEN.
you pkg then don't chao also.
Poor girlfriend.
Cheebye.
Then 3pm have Modern Dance Practice.
Tiring, yet fun. Got into Syf. -shakes ass.

Ok. That's all.
I hate My form Teacher. ARGH.
Tomorrow wear tie !! :D
I'm off. Byeeeeeeeeee.

2009-01-18T12:29:00.003+08:00

It's Sunday!
Ok let's talk about past few days.

(Friday)
Went to Parkway you know. :BBBBBBB
And one thing, is, I'm so not me that day.
1. Makeeeeeup.
2. Hair extendddddddd.
3. Hair colorrrrrrrrrrrr.

I took some pictures 'nd im gonna upload on friendster later.
I look like some, club girl. lol.
Surely it's not me.
Stole all woman's spotlight. (HAHAHAHA)
Didn't expect it to be like so.. outstanding.
I recieved alot of glares and such from girls. Forget that part.
It's still a nice day. lol.
I'm like, wtf, when they say "we're going Chinatown~!"
_|_ man.
1. im tired.
2. my dressing is so-not-chinatown-time.

Argh. Nevermind.
(Saturday)
Had tuition.
Then went to parkway too.
I GOT MY JEANS. OH YES. -claps and jump in excitement like a p1 kid.
Today, my dressing was yesterday's turn-around.
I look so, wild yesterday.
I look so, delicate today. LOLOLOLOL.

I pinned up my fringe, tied up my hair and I look like some superstar. -smiles broadly.
Went opposite to fetch fann.
Beside the tuition centre was pool.
And. There's this girl, she look wilder than the yesterday-me, starting smoking. She scanned me from head to toe, and blow the smoke at my face. I was like, ill-bred man.
Can't you see, im so innocent. How can you.. D: LOL.
But I didn't take any photos of the look. Disappointed right? -laughs proudly.
LOL.
Kay lah. Maybe I'll edit one photo and upload it here. profile page? yesyes.

AND.
Happy birthday Brenda.

(Added):

I did a quiz just now.
And this is the result, I find it quite interesting.

You are a more active person, drawing a clear line between happiness and unhappiness. You are more quick-tempered. If you encounter things you like, you will do it without second thought. But once you encounter things that you hate, you will wish to get out of it as soon as possible. As you are a person of your own views, the friends you tend to have will be of the same pattern. But once good friends, you will understand them a lot and go all the way to help then. Friends are very dependent on you. As you are too emotional, you may make a storm out of a teacup with your friends. You must learn to do things in order and not give up easily. You can try making friends with those you don't think you can get along with, don't stick with the same category. This will make you more popular and charming.

Like, err right. LOL.
Some things happened. Domestic affairs. Not gonna talk about 'em here. It's just that it kept me worrying.
Sorry Brenda. My house key.. bzz.

2009-01-15T18:19:00.002+08:00

Fate toys with one's feelings, even when he/she, deep down is depressed.

Hi beachdudes.
Was scrolling through Habbo groups, clearing friendlist. Deleted some of the people who left their accounts in the desert, and forgot to bring it back.
As stated in the previous post, I was considering should I go to Parkway. In the end, I still went there. Argh, I reached home at 12. Slept at 12.36am.
I think I'll never get enough of sleep. No matter how much I sleep, I'm still tired when I wake up, like omg? -.-
Anyway, I had coconut at Chinatown you know. Very nice, but they are fkers. So much flesh inside, they gave me a plastic spoon. Like wtf? I can't even dig anything out of it. And the spoon looks like it's gonna break anytime. x.x

As for today, we have early dismissal! Dismissed at 11am. Shiok alright.

Morning, came to school with my darling Kickapoo. LOL.
Psst. I bought it at Chinatown. Look, it lasted for like, 3 days? LOL.

(English Lesson)

Seriously, this teacher is a real joker;mdm Faezah.
She talk like she lost 3 tooth. LOL. And not the back ones, the front tooth. LOL!
I smsed and sleep in class. But still, completed her work. Cause English are like, so easy? And that's not it. I don't think I completed fast because it's easy, more like its because I like it.
Super funny, she talked about her stuffs. We chatted among ourselves.

(Geography Lesson)

Fun, as usual. But her lessons were slightly boring. -.-
Gosh. Her homeworks are 5 minute work.
lol. But not that easy, as expected.
We need to fill up the big big lines. ;_; And its alot you know.

(Recess)

Went with Felicia, Xiuqin, Amy and Lycia.
As usual too, Burgers. Woo. Actually I don't really like it.
Just that I like the Auntie selling it. LOL.

(Maths Lesson)

She's ever so strict, fuck. Can we have a change in maths teacher?
I don't like her. She's fierce and looks like she'll digest anyone of us anytime.
If I were to hate Maths, it's so gonna be her fault.
We were supposed to be dismissed at 11am.
She only let us off at 11.20am. What the fuck? Let's just say this.
She's not happy cause we left the classroom before her. LOL.
Umm, She's ok at times. But not my lover teacher. Aww, ♥♥♥
And yes, Common tests are coming~ D:

After that, we rushed out immediately like Prison Break.
Didn't went home with Rachel and Amy cause I accompanied Brenda.
Went to the same Auntie stall and had her food.
You know, nuggets!♥
The sushi sucks. Sour. -==
I had left alot of remains in the plate. Brenda was smashing her sushi into charkwaytiao.
Food wastage. I'll have my retribution. D:
The vitasoy I was having, I thought the packet was empty. I sorta pressed it.
Phisssh. Or whatever the sound was. The milk went bomba like fountain.
Heaven's call. Ok that's it. I won't waste food anymore.

I went to 3ed to check on a girl.
Confirmed her name.
Getting her number for Elmo tomorrow.
why am i calling him elmo, wth. spiderman. pig. superman. whatever lah.
I was chased by a bee. I didn't scream. My phone did. lol.

Anyone read a book until he/she cried?
I did you know. I re-read "To forget you" & "you are here" still reading,
And little did i know, I WOULD CRY EVEN READING FOR THE SECOND TIME.
Not my fault. The story, too touching. LOL.
I don't look like I'm so sentimental right? -rolls eye.

Oh and. 31 January is so-my-day. Don't fucking ruined it. -.-
i wished it was a Sunday.
I'm ending my post here.

.
.
.
.
.

Happy NewYear.

2009-01-12T16:23:00.002+08:00

退一步海过天空
that's what oldies say.
It's 4.25pm. I'm still thinking whether I should go Parkway anot. x.x
They're going Chinatown. *jumps in excitement.
If I go, I'll sleep late, wake late, late for school.
And they'll say I itchy butt. --

Yesterday night went to Compasspoint.
Bought 500 piece puzzles and ya, I completed it.
In 1 night's time. I slept yesterday at about 3?
With the help of ♥Mummy & ♥Aunt.

Okay, so I'm gonna complain about Acer. cause it's like, fuck. I called their hotline the previous time and they hold my call for like, wth long. And I emailed them too. They said they have to wait for dont know what manager. Wait somemore. For what? Newyear. You can't expect me to use a laptop for like, days and years and months right. And it's new somemore. $#!@%

Didn't want to have my lunch, but I haven't been eating since yesterday afternoon. So I'd might aswell munch some stuffs. I had hotdog. Lol.
And there's a real joke here. I ate a cream puff, not knowing when was the food.
First bite, taste sweet. Second bite, wth is this? Third bite, I felt that it's sour.
I was like, in the Anime, you know..

Like wth man. I spilt everything out in one second. LOL.
It's.. horrible.
I thought it expired yesterday, but.
Far from that.
It says "11/10/2008"
*imagines: I've just swallowed something that is supposed to be thrown away 3.5 months ago.
LOL.
It's digusting, digust me to even think. And when I take a closer look at the cream, I realised it was yellow.
Okay. Don't worry. My toothbrush went
zig
.
.
.
.
zag.

I miss ♥Grandma.

Anyway. I'll leave my birthday to van&ks.
Don't screw it please.

Preoccupied -- 2008.
This year will end very slow. Believeeeeeeee me.
And I like posting now. Esp: Adding stupid stuffs. :B

Toods.

2009-01-10T18:09:00.003+08:00

T_T
LIKE WTH MAN. I THOUGHT I MIGHT FAIL FOR THE TEST. LOL.
Just now had tuition. Alllllllll the way to now. Stupid test, Maths, Sci, omg.
I passed, teehee. 86 ok!
Anyway. Today cca but never go. What to do? x.x
Dont care. I overslept anyway. Lol.
Went for breakfast just now too. Met ailing downstairs. She never changed. Her face still looks like a fishball. Loll. She don't rmb me. D: It took 3 minutes for her to think. And she took 1 minute to realise she remembered wrongly. Tsk.
Wanted to buy hansel and gretel. But rushed home for tuition. --
Wondering when the sch will have file stocks. Kinda' fed up when they always say 'out of stock'.
;_;
I saw jacky chan you know. In my dreams. He was hitting my bag. I forgot why. -.-

I recieved my imperial teleporters few days ago.
Tired~~~~~~~~

I slept from yesterday 7+ til today 5.30, went back to slp at 6 and woke up at 9. The moment I wake up, I vomitted twice.
1st time was.. alot.
2nd time i vomit, my throat bleed.
not outside. inside. =.= And my ♥Grandma said that I might be vomiting cause of gastric. Cause, I havent been eating since the day before. Consequently, my 'stomach' will have a hole? Lol.
N/m. It's so stupid for scientist to find out about this. x.x
got hole, noneed for digestion. ^^
Go hospital better. Noneed wake up so early. HAHAH.

Apparantly, for unknown reasons, I've recovered mysteriously from my fever. It occured like, Wed? But, I didn't know until my ♥Grandma asked me since when I had headache. I just remembered it was Thurs or Wed.
Ah its the same right.
I'm starting to get forgetful.
I forgotten that I've thrown away my Pri 6 textbooks.
I forgotten that I've to go to school today.

I should set alarms or something eh?
I like mushrooms.

you didn't realise those hints, did you?

2009-01-08T18:46:00.002+08:00

so cute kaaaay. today cca orientation.
and homework bangbang starts.
eheheh. Geo please. -.- Kinda interesting. Learnt about Environments.
History was, hmmhmm?
And English = Sleeping time! :x
actually meeting daryl v ht. but never alr.

I miss little nyonya.
Buying tixszx for the jumper. int parties please inform.
also planning some stuffs.
anyway. the agogo thing sucks. confirm not a good show. ==
As for the reunion dinner, it's gonna be funny, but sucks.
dont know why. lol. maybe cause our expectations rose due to little nyonya.

wo rennnnnnnnnn~ LOL.
ni deng wo yi xia. hen kuai jiu si ding le.
si banana. chao zhe yang duo. zui ba bi elephant hai da! >:(

i found out who hacked my account alr.
So far only some people know i can't use the comp. only one person know my hotmail password. and to my hotmail, i have mails that keeps password.
i never expect it to be you. but you're the only possibility.
you underestimated me. im more than what you think, madm.
don't want return ho. no diff from nic. hypocrite, thats the word. say him, you too.
hack alr come cold style. very shiok huh. action zuay gey biao yan. sai.
wait lah. you want, tell me. dont happy happy use yr lapsap de hand touch my account.
i like you. but. i guess i have to rest for awhile before i continue. ^^

2009-01-07T17:09:00.003+08:00

Hi people. Ignore the previous post. It was shit. LOL.
I started to like walking home from school. Then oh. The road under construct, but I still walk past. The indunehs were pissed. Oh please, who cares. x.x

And there, I have alot of stuffs to buy. All's shit. LOL.
Yesterday when walking home, chatted with Jackson.
He told me about his art lessons, which were, hmm.. more or less more interesting than mine? :OOOOO
Actually my school, is quite a nice place. But it's snakes you see. Even worst, some nosebutts are much more poisonous than a snake. I still prefer biting their nose.

ms, game not like that play one. i can play v you. but obey the rules. stupid. -.-
don't so cheap thanks. i thought you were the kinda stuffs only avai at orchard. now i can find you anyway at any pasamalam. oh gossssshzx. im telling you, you open de door, you close it k. you leave it there for what. btbj also leave it open. screw spoil you pay ah. LOL. piguneh. everytime hypocrite laa hor. go close door lah. i bite ur nose alr. LOLLOOOOOL.

Oh, what if your boyfriend has a boyfriend, what will you do? scream?
LOL. Like I should care. If mine does, I'll make sure he goes home without his skull.

its like the potrait hanging on the wall.everyone thinks it never falls.thats when accidents like that happen. zz. and. if. you. seriously.. ~, SAY MAH. ADOI. ==

Today walked home again.
then oh, never eat at all. reached home at 4.30 just now.
And I'm hungry, waiting for the fucking first meal. -.-

he's so happy. cus' i said the wrong things. aaaaaaargh.

ytd night never sleep at all. plain boring.
im having itchy butt and fingers now.
im gna do something that's fierce. Fierce as in, not angry kinda stuff. okay dont know yr prob. --

I can show you what's CAL. I really can.
All those things, except for drugs. I show you. Fker.

My disgea last episode alr.
I completed like 5 times?
Laharl is hot. woosa. :S

PS: TODAAAAAAAAY IS MY CHINESE BDAY.HAHAHAH. X.X

2009-01-04T05:23:00.002+08:00

NEWPOST!
Ijust did a quiz. Or something like that. x:
ok. here is it:

1st. Get PEN and PAPER
2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE
THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY
KNOW
3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST
INSTINCTS ! Very important for good results.
4th SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON`T READ AHEAD otherwise YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.
1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.
2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?
3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7,
WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. SAME SEX IF GAY.
CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT
4. WRITE ANYONES NAME
(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5, & 6.
DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID
5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
6. Finally,
MAKE A WISH
ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE
KEY TO THE GAME

1. 4
2. 6
3. --
4. Brenda
5. Daryl
6. Jesley
7. --
8. Insomnia
9. Love at first sight
10. Turn around
11. I still believe in love

1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU
is found in
SPACE 2
2. THE PERSON IN SPACE
3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE
3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your
relationship CANNOT WORK is in
SPACE 7
.
4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you
put in
SPACE 4
5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS
THE ONE WHO
KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.
6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR
LUCKY STAR
7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT
MATCHES WITH THE
PERSON IN NUMBER 3
8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE
PERSON IN 7
9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT
TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT
YOUR MIND
10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT LIFE
11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR
LUCKY NUMBER

-
okay. Quite true you know. Except for 1.
I don't think Daryl knows me well. LOL.
Right~
Im going to bath. ye, at this time.
Im sweating. -.-

2009-01-04T02:47:00.002+08:00

you hor, purposely one right. x(

Fuk man. My new comp is spoileddddddd.
Not spoil but. Is like, on alr keep hanging at 'Welcome'.
Then can't use de. D:
Im planning to go to the.. Jumper concert.
Not sure yet. Still waiting.
-prays hard my comp recovers. --
Tomorrow is Sunday!
Er its sunday now but, n/m.
I think I'm cursed.
I just bought acash. And I can't play. Fuk. ==
I try download to this laptop. x)

omgwtfbbq, she know alr. and that's not all! She didn't react like how i expected.
--

2008-12-31T22:40:00.002+08:00

Hihihihi.
Was forced to post. But I do have things to rant anyway.
the jumper sibei hot. LOL. I wanna watch too. It's on Febuary. Argh.
Then hor. The ticket not very ex. Atleast its affordable and far cheaper than the..
you know. Andy. :B
vivo very big you know. LOL.
Alot gathering, but I slept til late.
The young Yueniang very cute. lol. Very pretty also. haha.
heng i never go, if not zg. =.=
deco-ed a room in habbo. But lazy to host. So.. bahbahbah.
The who hor. Jsut now, WAS DOWNSTAIRS MAN. LOL.
The song now suck cock: the channel 8. :/
Thanks to Jackson, Im not lack of a prezzie. after i begged like shyt.
sonson. temple pls. LOL. I think my post is lame hor.

somethings, dont care better. If not ltr kena called as kpo. :O!
Hi. Who are you to read my blog.
Fuck off man. LOL.
Like, blowing bubbles now.
I love Jeanette. lolll.

Im going to bath now. woots.

what is that suppose to mean? PUIPUIPUI.

2008-12-26T20:05:00.004+08:00

Hi people. :)
Was scrolling pass and saw Great.la recruiting DJs.
Their recruitment was kinda interesting.
Yesterday was fun. Lool.
I just found out her xuan is Shien. Yi shien. :O
Sounds like yi shen. LOL.
But don't care, cause she's cute.
I'm watching the "Missing Case" now. At Channel 8.
Stupid man. 3 China girls missing.
They say maybe these 3 girls left for their hometown or maybe cause they think Singapore earn money not easy. :/

Yesterday I missed out the Little Nyonya series. Grr.
Asked you all help me record all outside. mygosh. ;_;
I can't download Audition sil. Zzz.
Lend me thru thumbdrive if possb.
You know, when I play billard, I anyhow poke.
And even when someone is behind me, I raised it and poke someone accidentally.
That beats everyone's joke of the day. lol.
We spent the whole time laughing.

i recieved a mail. Saying that there's is a restaurant(?) in the mountains that gives food for free. LOL. They showed the road. Damn ridiculous. -.=
Gimme a min. I upload the pictures.

See the restaurant. LOL.
By the time you reach the restaurant, I think you just want a drink. You're not hungry anymore. LOL.

I watched Huapi;painted skin just now.
K I wished I was a devil too. -.-

AND IT'S NINE ALREADY.
SEE HOW LONG I POST. LLOL
FROM 8 TO 9.
Kay there's nothing to be proud of.
Anyway, I'm going off soon.

I know that very long ago. :)

2008-12-26T02:17:00.003+08:00

People. This post is nothing related to my day.
It's just a message I need to let my mother know.

Mummy:
You said that I hate you alot. Let me ask you then.
Do you really understand me?
If you don't, never assume what I'm thinking.
What you said just now made tears rushing up.
Since you feel so pathetic as a mother, why not throw me in the streets?
I'm seriously tired you know. Each time you say such things, you never even consider of my feelings. You just like to make me feel guilt all over and sob over such.
I don't want to be pressed down like that. I'm stronger than what you think I am. But you're making the child in me fade away. It's just like killing me. I don't want you to regret having me as your child. It's not like you'll live a better life without me.
What have I done? What did I do to make you say such things.
Even if I've changed, I won't forget your love.
I know you don't fucking care about how I think.
But please, mind to talk to me for awhile?
I've never hated you all along. Even when you've made me tear countless times.
Right, I act like I don't feel a thing.
I'm cold blooded, I'm not softhearted. Yes that's what you think.
You merely presumed. What else can you think of me?
Ahlian? Not respectful? Useless? No manners?
I listed them out. What else.
I'm not as bad as you think.
You brought me up as a 1990 child. Its 2008, on going 2009.
PLEASE. Haven't you read magazines?
Children being brought up in the older generation will be stressed.
Yes I am. I am stressed. So stressed about you. About all of you.
Can't you understand us?
YOU YOURSELF wanted to go out.
Me? I'm a much hyper kid than you. I need to run outside. I'm not supposed to be trapped in the birdcage. How am I supposed to survive? Just like a yourself. At the time when you're pregnant, you are to stay at home, what can you do? You wanted to go out more than I wanted to.
You never even tried to understand me.
You say you're tired. Say you did alot of things.
WHAT GOOD HAVE YOU DONE?
I've never expect much from you. I just wanted love and happiness from you.
As long as you're happy, I am too you know.
But you don't know. You just think I'm that heartless.
Let me tell you now.
I care about you more than your husband does.
I care about you more than your other daughter does.
AND. Among all of us, when you were away at HK, I missed you the most.
You fucking don't know. How much it hurts you know.
After all that I've done behind the shadows, you only look at the surface.
I have alot examples.
Each time me and sis buy stuffs, I'd carry the heavy ones. When we're reaching, she'll take it and once we arrived, you'd say I'm so useless, carry nothing throughout the whole journey. Fine.
Each time we eat, I'd give you the nicer ones. And you'll say "You can't finish say la, don't fake." Fine.
Each time me and sis quarrel, for idontknow what reasons, its always my fault. For example just now, she scolded me for playing her game, and I said I play for her cause she keep losing. She say I guailan w/ her. Wtf man. What I do. Zzzz.

Forget it. You won't believe me anyway. You won't get to read this anyway.

2008-12-23T15:24:00.002+08:00

I've been getting along well with my funny bone. Hahs.
Sunday :
Bought new computer @ i-dont-know-where.
Ex, yet big screen. My maple character seems alil' stretched. :/
Aftrwards went to meet Brenda & Jolene & Andrea at Hougang Point Mc.
~~
Started the bbq, laid the table and, yeah.
We have our "orders" ready too. :O
Damn nice k. But the chicken wings are like, oh-hell man. -.- It's hard. But tasty in other ways.
The worst was the Sarsi. Didn't expect it's taste to become like that.
They still said it was nice despite of the weird taste.
Afterwards, went to Basketball Court together w/ : Andrea, Brenda, Jolene, Nic Ong, Nic Tan, Casey, Darren, Mei Qi, Vanni, Yingying & Siewmun.

I kena alot of direct shots from the ball. -.=
Hilarious, yet pain alright. Thank Jesus that I didn't bleed. Swt.
Right now that bump on my head still hurts abit.
Oh but sports are meant to be rough. :B
~
Walked past a couple. Fucking horny. LOL.
The zhabor's got her legs wrapping up that guy, and the guy's got his hands wrapping up that girl. Can't they control or jump into the bushes. Or maybe don't hold, don't touch. STRAIGHT AWAY GO BED LAH. LOL. FUCKFUCKFUCK. -.-
Anyway, Thought of something related:
"Masturbation is just like procrastination;you only end up screwing yourself" -quoted from Piao.
LOL. Funny k.
We walk pass them and we're like, -ahem. NC 16. PARENT GUARDIAN!! M18!!
C'mon man. We're pissing them. ==
We say so much, they still kiss like fk. ok nevermind. Lazy care alr.
We play finish basketball come back, THEY STILL THERE. LOL.
~
Laid red carpet for Mrswong. :B
Her two kids vry funny leh. One like~ One very cute.
Will post the pictures on Friendster.
Oh they are gonna be famous even before they grow up.
~
I downloaded Audition twice. Still can't play. Sian half. -.-
Lend me Audi's game in disk pls. I'd die without it. Esp when my maple suck so much. omfg. ==
~
Off to Friendster.
:D

2008-12-19T15:52:00.000+08:00

Fuck man. I was typing just now and the blogger suddenly hang. And now I have to type again. -.-
Okay I'll restart.
Hi people. Hope these great days find you well.
Was hopping around some blog and found copyzx of my desperate symbols.
Well, Its kinda' obvious you're looking for fresh ideas y'know. But I don't wanna know that.
I'm going out soon so just rant about random stuffs.

Yesterday watched Twilight w/ hotzx. :B
Then hor then hor, we're like snatching spotlight from the show. Though the screen seems to be bigger than us in terms of size, but voice do count right! :D
Saw the.. who ah. Forgot his name. His hair is like straws actually? :/

Today was lame alright. -.=
And Mcdonald's time was so uh-oh. :x
Seems like its a moody friday, everyone rejected our "invitation" to mac's. D:

alright thats all.
Another thing to complain about : I STILL HAVENT SCOLD HER. =.-
Nevermind. It's only a matter of time. :B

i miss you, Rivervale.

Time to go. <3
Bye people.
OH YES. For x'mas, can I request for the $45 Habbo credit?
I'll exchange it with you for my kiss. LOL.

That stupid insect still havent change. -.-

2008-12-10T22:14:00.002+08:00

Heyo. Welcome me, back to blogger.
Sure did rot the hell out when I wasn't around, or perhaps blogger missed me? :O
Yeah, so I'm going to Habbo in a few minutes time, So I'll just rant about random stuffs.
Afternoon hosted Costume Change & Furni Mission, lost my Mocha Master. ==
Afterwards met Jooqee, Alfie and flirtboe. Talk about having no religion.
No offence, people. We were laughing around at many religion but still, no offence alright.

For example, ~ eating pork?
we also said ~ got pinned up because he owe loan sharks. LOL.
Oh yes :
BIBLE = Become Indian Before Leaving Earth.
LOL.
they said there's this web : muxlim or something .com
we were asked to go in there and treat ~ eat pork.
People, no offence ok. :x

K skip nevermind.

News:
On Monday, Little Nyona will be showing from 8pm to 10pm.
2 HOURS WOR. MUST WATCH OKAY <3
Its just a reminder. Teehee.

I wish there's a countdown being hosted. wootzx. <:

2008-12-02T00:36:00.002+08:00

Heiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Fk you spammer. LOL.
Kay I'm not suspecting anyone.
Just putting those IP codes that are similar ontop.
Everyone, vote and see which more alike. :/

Spammer's IP code.
220.255.7.219 & 220.255.7.218
-
S1
220.255.7.135
-
S2
220.255.7.188
-
S3
220.255.7.145
-
S4
220.255.7.192
-

This voting is from Tuesday 2 Dec 08 - Friday 5 Dec 08.

Sounds like an official survey but, errr, nevermind.
Today I tried on that boots k. k. k.
And I'm.. TALLER. TALLER. Than my Ahma. HAHAHA. :/

Anyway. Later around, 6? I'll be leaving for Genting.
And, people. Don't gossip about me k. I don't want my best friend, Sneezy, to come and find me in Genting.

I have another Wife.
He's got sex change. LOL.
B for Bread.
B for Baobei. hairstands.

W for Weiliang.
W for Wife. laughs.

K for Kaya.
K for Kawai. vomits.

Kay nevermind.
Cause I sound like a flirt or something.
Ah whatever.

I suddenly love Mummy alot. :/
I thought of what she said.

Don't go the wrong road. Remember, mummy yong yuan shi ai ni de.

And I think. What if I turn to chaoahlian. lol.
That doesn't sound very, suitable for this sentence.

Removing my Green nails later.
Leaving the toenails as it is. Lazy to remove 20fingernails. :o

My foot has got blisters. All thanks to the stupid boots.
I ain't gonna wear them later. Fuck man.
I removed one of my extensions yesterday.
Trimmed them today. So it looks like its balanced.

I hope my computer will have the virus removed. ;_;
I really wanna play Audition.

Watching people play Bowling.
Feel like playing too.
When am I gonna be ungrounded.
._.

I told my mother I like pokka greentea.
And look, she bought 4 bottles for me to drink in Genting.
HAHAAHA.
Cause I told her.
"I never drink greentea will cry."
LOL.
I know I'm being childish. But I'm still a child. Sorry. :l

Ohyes.
Please refrain from contacting +6581280408.
Im overseas during this period : Tuesday December 8am - Thursday/Friday.
Thanks.

2008-11-28T23:51:00.002+08:00

Hi people.
Just came back from great-granny's house.
Her injury was not very serious, but she couldn't walk.
Both knees were hurt. But she's still so cute. :B

The Nyona Show right, damn fuck.
Fuck that rapist.
Fuck Juxiang's aunt. --
Her father also cockeye one. :/

Just now played with Xuan. Hey, not the bitchy one. The cute one. >:D
She threw my phone on the phone. Thanks. --
She kept "Cat"-ing. Mark says I'm a cat. I think he's a dog. ==

I'm hungry now. Have food? Any meat. Dog, cat. Whatever.

I want to go out. ;_;
Monday I try to go out with Breadddddy. Mukeke.

*Does anyone have Vandetta's picture, or face, or mask, or whatever?
Cause I think he's hot so I want his picture. :D:D:D

Off I go to cook noodles.
Byebyebye. :B

2008-11-28T03:36:00.002+08:00

Hi babes and hunks.
Bet you miss me.
Cause I havent been online/posting/updating/tagging for 987654321 days.
Nah not that long.
Just tryin' to make it look funny.
Anyway. This few days I've been lying on my bed and sleeping like monkey's business.
I'll be updating my blog template later cause it has gone yellow.

My aunt has got her ear welcoming a fly.
She's trying to dig that fly out but it went in too deep.

I'll be leaving to Genting on Monday or Tuesday, I think.
Will be coming back around Thursday/Friday.
Not to worry, updates will be done.

I did my extensions.
Actually I planned to dye instead but, cash strapped. Haha.
I made around, 5 of 'em.
Red ones. Red are hot right. :B

Painted my fingernails Green. Pretty. :o
And for my toenails, they've gone Black.. or maybe darkdark blue that looks so much like black.

I got my boots already. Kinda hot.
Ivory. Just that, the heels are bit too high.
Made me taller than my father. wookeke.
I didn't buy it for that purpose, its just that I think they are hot.
I'm gonna buy more, if I have more.. you know. :S

I heard that Great-Grandma fell down again, and injured.
That's the 3rd(?) or so already.
She couldn't walk now.
Will be visiting her tomorrow.

Good news.
Tomorrow, Friday 28th November, is Green day.
So everyone is encouraged to wear Green color apparels.

Will check on Friendster later.

Anyway, I just heard from my mother that, some bitch took Bus 88 and threw Singaporeans' faces.
You know, Bitch A sat down and placed a bag beside her. Being selfish.
And Bitch B comes and removed the bag, and sat beside her. Being bitchy.
Bitch A was very unhappy about the fact that Bitch B was wearing mini-skirt at her old-hag-age. Being jealous.
So Bitch A and Bitch B started to fight. Being an attention-seeker.

So, they are Selfish, bitchy, full of jealousy and attention seekers. :D

That's all.
Off to update my blog.
♥, -xoxo.

2008-11-25T00:42:00.003+08:00

Not planning to go Genting. Unless Im forced to go.
They messed up everything right after the last stage of plan was starting.

Mdm, I need to make this thing clear.
You say that I get angry for nothing.
Ok nevermind.
But you just drag things and do things at the fucking last minute.
You dont understand, do you?
No you don't.
You only care about BUSY BUSY BUSY.
What else?
We asked you so fucking many times why you havent book.
You merely replied us with 'whole day busy.'
Right, now they aren't going.
You finally called to book.
Now you're happy arent you.
They aint going anymore.
SO WE HAVE NO FUCKING COMPANIONS AND WE HAVE TO TALK TO THE SHADOWS.
YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW.
IM TRAPPED IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE WITH FUCKING GUARDS SURROUNDING ME.
I CANT EVEN FUCKING SNEAK OUT.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.
GOOD FOR ME?
GOOD YOUR SHIT.
HAVEN'T YOU SEE? MY ATTITUDE HAS GONE FROM BAD TO WORST.
AND ANOTHER THING.
IF YOU THINK THAT I'M NOT RESPECTING YOU, IM THE WORST IN THE 3 OF US,
THEN FROM TODAY ONWARDS, YOU ONLY HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS.
REMEMBER THAT.
IM FROM THE ORPHANAGE.
I DONT BELONG TO ANYONE.
SO FUCK OFF ALRIGHT.

[Added]

Actually I don't know what to do.
I cant decide.
So many things happened today.
Yet the show is still entertaining me, still causing my smiles.
Even the horoscope is pulling me to her.
Help me. Hais.

Horoscope:
If you want things to be different, then make them so! It's never too late to move down a different path in your life. You can't let your age, your income, or your current romantic status hold you back from doing something that you think will make you happy. Every day offers a new opportunity, a new set of choices to make -- and this day is no different. You are working awfully hard at coming up with excuses -- it's wasting time, and it's wasting your energy. You know you can do it, so do it!

2008-11-24T02:11:00.002+08:00

Was watching Over the Hedge. Haha.
RJ's so funny. :D
Was, HBO family channel I think.

FM 987 sucks.
When Im not around they play nice songs.
When Im around they play sucky songs.
Bad right. LOL.
The only quite-ok song is Crush.

Tomorrow going Jurong.
Then watch Madagascar. Hohoho.
Anyway, my controller's kinda screw loose. Dammit. --

Somethings I need to settle with some bitch.
Fuck you man.

2008-11-22T20:31:00.002+08:00

Are you a man who loves and cherishes and cares for me?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Are you a guard in a prison, maximum security?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Do we stay home all the time cuz you want me to yourself?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Or am I locked away, out of fear that I’d find someone else
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?

Well, I don’t like living under your spotlight
Just because you think I might find somebody worthy
Well, I don’t like living under your spotlight
Baby if you treat me right, you won’t have to worry

Is this relationship, fulfilling your needs as well as mine
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Or is this just my sentence, am I doing time?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
If this is love, real, real love, then I’m staying no doubt
But if I’m just a prisoner, then I’m busting out
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?

-CH-

Oh, you oughta be ashamed of yourself
What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Loving me, loving me, so wrong
Baby, all I do is try
To show you that you’re my one and only guy
No matter who may come along
Open your eyes cuz baby I don’t lie

-CH-

Kinda meaningful right.
Seems like this girl is being controlled by her guy.
He just like to shine his spotlight on her to check if she is fooling behind him.
He doesn't trust her. Its Spotlight by Jennifer Hudson.
Others:

You're not sorry - Taylor Swift.

All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around
I’ve been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around

You don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I don’t believe you baby like I did before
You’re not sorry no more, no, no

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn’t know
Could’a loved you all my life
If you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I’m tired of being last to know
And now you’re asking me to listen
Cause its worked each time before

-CH-

You had me calling for you honey
And it never would’ve gone away no
You use to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

-CH-

And next, this song, kinda weird.
To Bread:
THIS SONG ABIT LIKE US RIGHT. LOL.

Lovestory - Taylor Swift.

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
Im standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights,
See the party the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say hello
Little did i know

That you were romeo you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from juliet
And i was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don’t go, and i said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all theres left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and i’ll be the princess
Its a love story baby just say yes

So i sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we’re dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Lets escape this town for a little while
Cause you were romeo i was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don’t go and i said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all theres left to do is run
You be the prince and i’ll be the princess
Its a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they're tryin to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but its real
Don’t be afraid we’ll make it out of this mess
Its a love story baby just say yes,

Oh, Oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When i met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me i’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, i don’t know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

Marry me juliet you’ll never have to be alone
I love you and thats all I really know
I talked to your dad go pick out a white dress
Its a love story baby just say yes
Oh,Oh,Yes
We were both young when i first saw you

Actually I wanna put more lyrics.
But I see they are too long
So bababa. No.

Outrageous is loved. LOL.

2008-11-21T22:50:00.002+08:00

My Horoscope:

There is joy beneath the surface of everything right now, and you are in the exact right frame of mind to see it! Look again at that stranger walking by you -- don't you see a smile? Whether they're flirting with you or not isn't even relevant. They are happy -- and that will make you happy. You are clearly in a strong period of ease right now, where you can put in half the effort to get the full reward. Things are coming to you more quickly and people are working around your schedule.

Yesterday, PSLE results were released.
I was late and extreme embarrassed when I walked in the hall.
Recieved our results, and found out that its 206.

BM went to make her passport today. I think she's not coming back already.
Yesterday bought new phone. W595. Grey and some Green.
Grey looks old, stiff and stupid.

I need a drink now.
A drink that can cause serious confusion, that can be drunk.
:)

2008-11-18T03:08:00.003+08:00

This is to ♥Mummy.

Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.

How can I stay here & live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes & die?

I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now mum, let me go instead?

I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place,
Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.

Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.

Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the world to me, to know that someone cared.

This, dedicated to ♥6Ds.

Thank you, friends, for all the things
That mean so much to me--
For concern and understanding
You give abundantly.

Thanks for listening with your heart;
For cheering me when I'm blue;
For bringing out the best in me;
And just for being you.

Thanks for in-depth conversation
That stimulates my brain;
For silly times we laugh out loud;
For things I can't explain.

For looking past my flaws and faults;
For all the time you spend;
For all the kind things that you do,
Thank you; thank you, friend.

PART II:

Because you are my friend,
my life is enriched in a myriad of ways.
Like a cool breeze on a sweltering day,
like a ray of sunshine parting glowering clouds,
you lift me up.

In good times, we soar,
like weightless balloons
over neon rainbows.
In bad times, you are soothing balm
for my pummeled soul.

I learn so much from you;
you help me see old things in new ways.
I wonder if you are aware
of the bright seeds you are sowing in me.

I'm a better person for knowing you,
so that everyone I interact with
is touched by your good effect on me.
You relax me, refresh me, renew me.
Your bounteous heart envelops me
in joy and love and peace.

May your life be filled
with dazzling blessings,
just as I am blessed
by being your friend.

That's all. Will make up more when Im free. LOL.

2008-11-16T19:43:00.003+08:00

I miss Pokka Greentea.

Woke up at 4.44pm. My headache just won't leave. :/
I didn't want to wake up today. I just wished my dream was real. And that, it can last forever. So I didn't want to wake up.
My dream was, about us. 5 of us.
And I met you in my dream. In school.
We were running around.
And then came the 3 of them.
I didn't want to wake up, because when I wake up, eventually I forget about it.
And It's just a dream.
I forgot about the dream.

Faith is something you can't feel, touch or see. Like Love.
Everyone is asking me to fight. Fight.
I don't know how to fight.
Fate. Destiny.
Why exist.

You see, I was watching this show.
Its, very sad.
This girl. She's married to a guy, and.. everything was very fine. Until one day, she couldn't accept the fact that her husband died in a car accident.
She tried to prevent it.
He died on Wednesday.
And she woke up on Tuesday, seeing his husband for the last time.
She talked to the priest in the church.
And this is what the priest said.
"It's never too late. And, if you love him, try to let go."

Have you ever tried understanding, how it feels when your loved one died in a car accident, right infront of you. And you can't do anything, just let him fade away.
That's horrible.

She told her husband, the last sentence.
"I love you & I miss you, Get off the car!"

Too late. So it went crashing. IT was a huge truck.
Exploded, the truck.
So he still died.
Atleast she tried.

So for me, atleast I tried.

2008-11-15T22:38:00.003+08:00

Hi. Bitch.
Come. I want talk to you.

Why you copy my wishlist.
Why you copy my link style.

You'll reply:
1. Any prove?
2. I never.

So here I tell you.
1. Have. I put alr then you put. So that is part of it.
2. You did. Its identical.

You'll reply:
That doesn't mean I copy.

-
But that doesn't mean you didn't copy.
RIGHT.

Another thing here is, even if you never copy, don't put things that are so alike to mine. Somemore is after I put. Don't kheykhey with me.

You go outing for what?
See shuai ge.

You pierce for what?
Ear too ugly. (LOL)

Haversack?
Cover my big ass. (LOLOLOL)

What about having a Laptop?
Watch more porn.

Dye hair for what?
Get attention.

Want money for?
Go find boys in geylang. Buy porn videos too.

Another thing is, DWARFS NEVER GROW TALL. LOL!!
You're short. That's destined. Don't be sad. :D
Dwarfs.. I think they have short fingers too right.
So.. playing musical instruments will be hard. ):

Kay so, what about linking?
Yes. ALPHABET. VERY NICE RIGHT.
BUT FUNNY HOR.
I PUT ALR THEN YOU PUT.
FUNNY RIGHT.
== YOU THINK WE TWINS IZZIT. MINDS CONNECTED.
HEY. I TELL YOU. TWINS, I NICER. I BETTER. ZZZ.

No one will be jealous.
Because everyone has their own good points.
You use those english words.
But seriously, do you know what it means?
And.
Why? Why must cry.
You graduate Kindergarten that time never cry now you chao so much.
Nabei. -'-
I'm telling you now.
Last time I catch you.
I see another thing again I'll go poking yr nose.
I know you're jealous.

Cause Im creative. HAHAHA.
LOL.

Ya and again, why you copy my (?)
WHYYYY.
BZZZZZ.
I'm angry.
LAI REN! ZHAN! LOL.
:/

2008-11-15T21:18:00.002+08:00

I wanna complain.
She's so unfair! >:(
I tell you something FIRST.
Don't be a fucking hypocrite.
Whatever I do, I'm still better than you. BITCH.
Don't like, fuck off.
Cause I rock. You? Sucker.
Another thing here is, I have.
LOL. You don't have. So you keep pressing.
Press la. Press somore. Zui hao bian chao ah gua. -'-

I'm pig today. :/
Sleep til 7.52pm.
Don't feel like posting.
Some no-breast-pie-hole bitch pissed me off.

2008-11-15T05:29:00.002+08:00

I'm back!
It's 5.29AM. Im not sleeping. :/
Anyway, I was playing Restaurant Empire just now. LOL.
Build Restaurants, blablabla. Mine sucess okay. Full seats. LOL.

I'm going to sleep soon. Just briefly talk about what happened today.
Went with fiona to YMCA building. Filled the application form and that guy was kinda' funny. He walked up and said "Oops, I forgot my chair."
He brought a chair infront and sat on it. And there he go saying "Oops, I forgot my namecard." He's a joker. LOL. That clown smile just won't leave his face.
As he explained to us about visiting Bishan Home for Down-Syndromes, I wasn't much of paying attention. But I know they are violent. -o-

And here come Hearing Impact. If I join Yvisits, I'll be visiting Homes for disabled, such as Hearing disabilty. And I'll be learning hand signs ! Yippee. LOL.

Here's is the thing that most people will ask :
"Got money take?"

Since it's volunteery work, why seek repay? :/
Alright, so If you're sort of, interested, do let me know alright.
Remember, NO money take one. LOL.

I joined YDrama/Dance & Yvisits.
So probably gonna get in both.

Yeah before you tell me you wanna join, I've to let you know something.
Those kids are violent.
Though they are shorter than you, mentality lower than you, but they are violent than you. So If you feel fustrated, you can't vent your angers on them alright.

I think they still have Yproms or whatever.
Its on 1st month of Saturday - 2-5pm.
Yvisit is Friday. Schedule not confirmed. :o

Okay my eyelids are heavy.
Goodnight.

2008-11-14T13:53:00.005+08:00

Yesterday night celebrated ♥Ahma's birthday at Swisshotel MarketCafe Buffet.
There's like, so much food. :O

Look at the amount of Tiger prawns I stole. LOL.
They weren't very nice but atleast they don't give out the kinda stink smell.
Anyway, there were a list of food I ate.
I think I ate..
Shark's fin soup, Oysters, Crabmeat, Curry Crab, Japanese Octo-alike Red thing (LOL) and.. ohyes. MANTOU. :D

Look what I did to the mantou. I gave polka dot disease. :D

That's not all.
Deserts !
I had.. Durian paste or whatever it's called, ♥CHOCOLATE FONDUE & Mint Chocolate Chip Icecream.
This is the Chocolate Machine. LOL.

I wished I could bring that home. :l
Anyway, Fiona&I went to Clarke Quay's Bridge or whatwhat. :o
Pretty View. :D

This is the Bridge's road that we're walking on.

The moon up there, and @Central Shopping Mall.

The outside of the bridge. Pretty right. LOL.

And this is.. the Boat there, and the restaurant.
There's also some kinda jumping flying game behind the river.
Allocated around the middle.
There were people inside taking the ride, screaming like their shorts were being ripped. Haha.

And this is.. The Riverside Shopping Mall. :D

Veryveryvery pretty.

Today, quarreled with her again.
She thinks I'm the worst in the 3 of us.
She thinks I'm selfish.
She thinks I'm not concerned about her.
I wouldn't have cried if I'm really who she described.

2008-11-13T02:56:00.002+08:00

Superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb-ed.

Im crazy over hunks. LOL.
And super bored.
Habbo's closed before 3am. ):
Not much people online, all korkorjiao alr. ):
Don't know what to do. ):

I was thinking of painting my blogskin.
Paint, as in, adding some stuffs.
- Wishlist [?]
- Calendar [?]
- Picture [?]
- Upcomings [?]

Yeah, I'll do that. When Im free. HAHA. :D

2008-11-09T23:50:00.002+08:00

Bitch, I think you suck more.
Don't fucking assume that you're right all the time and everyone is licking your fucking shoes.
I could have dumped your pair of shoes if im with you.
BAAAAAAHS.

Right now, Im very upset cus' I can't stay at home anymore.
She's dragging me to her shop.
Zzz.

So im finally home now.
She still don't know how I feel.
She thinks that I didn't want to go to her shop cause I wanna go out.
The truth is that Im tired, and I wanna rest.
YOU DON'T KNOW RIGHT.
SO SHUTUP.

if only time could rewind, i would have stopped everything that has happened.

2008-11-09T00:26:00.005+08:00

This is my 300th post. LOL.

Some quiz I found on the roadside, that I think it's kinda cool. :o
It's something that requires a measuring tape. Ha-ha-ha. >:D

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grab your measuring tape and start measuring your body parts!
Measure and pen them down. Remember, in inches!

1) Shoulder to shoulder length
★, 16inch

2) Shoulder to middlefinger length
★, 25inch

3) Foot length
★, 9inch

One round at your..

4) Waist
★, 27inch

5) Neck
★, 12inch

6) Head
★, 23inch

7) Thigh
★, 15.5inch

8) Arm
★, 9inch

9) Hips
★, 31inch

10) Wrist
★, 6inch

11) Thumb
★, 3inch

12) BigToe
★, 3.5inch

13) Ankle
★, 9inch

In CM
Height:
★, 154.7cm

In KG
Weight:
★, 45.8kg

--------------------------------------------------------

That's all. :D

2008-11-08T03:05:00.003+08:00

Misery, again.

Im so damn grounded now. :/
16 hours to RVPS's 10th year annivasary.
I don't feel the excitement or happiness. I feel depressed. Cause I cant go.
EVEN WHEN THE TICKETS ARE RIGHT BY MY EYES. I. CANT. GO.
FUCKED UP. ZZZ.
So you see, Im not going so Daryl's gettin' my ticket. I dont know why and FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASONS, Daryl's gonna have 2 tickets.
And fuck, cause Elephant ain't going and I can't laugh.

Im so tired, yet I can't fall asleep.
It's always like that.
I dread peeping at myself in the mirror.
I see someone that's not me. I see a Fucker.
I don't know why am I calling myself a Bitch, Whore or Fucker.
Probably because Im one.
Teehee. How does that sounds. HI BITCH, and you go again, HI FUCKER.
And there, uncensored. That's hot aint it. :o

So, yeah. Fuck you Jason.
Don't force me to pick between that 2 number cause it's gonna hurt alot.
I brought my scissors along so dont try me. :D

JASON WILLIAM FAGUA. LOL.
What a nice name.
Woo. Woo. Woo.
Im starting to love him. Cause he's a Fucker. LOL.
He's one of the nicest guy i've seen.
Cause he's gentlemen. Nah. He's just one of them.
There are even better guys out there. Just that my net didn't catch 'em.
They say that Im being pervertic.
So here goes. IMMA PERVERT. WOOOO.
-lifts up Kim's skirt.
-unzips Jason's pants.

HAHAHA. Kim wears a pink panties and Jason doesn't wear underwear.
Woops. I wasn't suppose to say that. :/
Who cares. It's funny.
Toodles. >:D

the kind of feeling, i'll never want to forget.

2008-11-07T00:42:00.002+08:00

Who am I
imma girl
Whats my name
fucker
Who are you
stranger
Why am I questioning you
because you're stupid
What's my gender
you're homo
What's my nickname
you're bitch
Why
cause you're a motherfucker
Who am I
rotten apple

This conversation was self-created due to some mental problem.
Im overreacting. Ha-Ha-Ha.
Nah, saw that? imma bitch.
Fuck me off. :l

2008-11-06T00:07:00.003+08:00

Its fine you know.
I shouldn't fuck care.
I wont bother you if you think imma nuisance.
It's fine. Really.
You can, do it. Thats yr problem. Cause im pissed.
I don't like people telling me they wanna let go of memories when they CANT guarantee it.
Ok then I'll let you be it. I've nothing more to say.
Goodluck.

To mummy:
I loved you too much. I can't bear to disappoint you.
That's why I kept things in dark.
I think, I need to rest.
At that point of time when, you said that..
I almost faint.

2008-11-02T21:38:00.002+08:00

I should've been mindful of their actions. :/
But who cares? Let's just do things the way I want.
Objections? Nah, fuck off. :D

Everyone, stand on my right side and be part of the lesbo team. >:D
Woi Bitch, I dont really care. Turn yr back and I'll scream. Mukeke.

Ring the bell if you're satisfied. LOL.
-weiliang rings.
Weiliang's pants have hole. Hole. Hole. Holeeeee.
They played thr and some bitch came.
She diao me ley.
Thn I ask weiliang nxt time see her diao her back. LOLOLOL.
Aftr tht we leave longjohnsilver, the 4 of them gay around beside 2 ahpeks, and we dispersed.
Going home alone quite scary leh. Behind me airairair. -.-
Im still in the lesbo tee as I post this.
Alright, Lesbian time. >:D

2008-11-02T00:14:00.002+08:00

You homo ass.
See how I revenge.
Fucker
Fucker
Fucker.
NbCbFker.

you wuji then dont diamdiam infront of yr father
dont think i dont dare expose everything infront of yr father laa hor.
you think you diamdiam nodnodhead very dua sibo.
spread pictures.
spread somemore.
yr habbo sooner or later dont need to play alr.
can say toodles.
can say byebye
sayonara also can.
just fuck off.

who you asking to watch out?
you think we dont know what you're implying on?
we're smarter than you think you fucking peasize brain.
I've alr told yr father.
Now its yr mother that's oblivious to what's happening.
Tomorrow. YOU WAIT. FUCK BIG HOLE. YOU MOHOLE FISHER.

2008-10-31T13:30:00.003+08:00

Look at my fucking horoscope.

Tell someone what you really want out of them -- stop expecting them to read your mind, because they will only disappoint you. And keep in mind that having clear communication requires more than just honesty and simple language -- it requires full disclosure and total trust. It's okay to be vulnerable when you are with the people you know care about you. You've made some real connections with these people, so why not believe in them? Say what is on your mind.

Applies to what happened yesterday and what is going to happen tomorrow.
I dont trust my sister. I dont trust my tcher.
But im supposed to do that. I've to let them know.
I need to tell them what's going on in my mind, i cant expect them to know.

I'll try.

Kay im sh-t inlove with this song. :/
Love story - Taylor Swift
We were both young, when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I’m standing there, on a balcony of summer air

I see the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
You say hello, little did I know…

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And your daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don’t go…
And I said…

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet, because we’re dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
Oh, Ohhh

Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And your daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
But you were everything to me
I was begging you, please don’t go…
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it’s real
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes
Oh, Ohhh…

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting, for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think
He kneels to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone
I love you, and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad-you’ll pick the white dress
It’s a love story, baby just say…yes…
Oh, Ohhh… Oh, Oh, Ohhh…
We were both young when I first saw you.

2008-10-29T18:57:00.002+08:00

Eh zhabor, dont pengwei ley.
You on the phone with bread's mum, and said me and whowho stead.
k nvm, then now we ask you why you said that, you said you say wrong.
Zzz. Kay lah, I dont say anything for this.
Then you say me prostitude for what. jb. -.- Ask you why, tell me 2 diff reason.
For fun, then say you CANNOT TAHAN girls wear skirt. Okay then please explain whats with your pinafore. -.-

Now we say everything, not because we want you kena beat.
Tooth for tooth laa hor.
Set place still want set time. -'-
I still got alot things want say okay.
- you scold me nevermind, dont fucking say my mother.
- you in tuition pinch brenda think i dont know issit. niniangde.

last time de things i let you off very nice alr.
Now you come say me what, stead people sibo.
Thought you very wusei, meet thr with your father you keep quiet.
We call you down not ask you come be mute de ley.

you like to make trouble for us, okay lor.
I sua this thing alr.
You come again i pluck yr hair. >:D

2008-10-28T22:44:00.001+08:00

Fuck, we overdo it. -'-

2008-10-27T23:06:00.002+08:00

We're smoaukers. LOL.

Okay,
Friday went out with Bread, Jolene, Weiliang Avin and Avan
Watched HighschoolMusical3, And we're siting at, 2 rows? :o
We're cracking doodling smacking looking around til the whole cinema hates us, i think. hahah. who cares anyway. :x
Quite nice, but when they start singing, i'm like, Kaopei lah ! -'-
So there's 10 songs? I've said kp 10 times aloud. :D
I kena bully by weiliang. After every sip taken into my mouth, He laugh and, I laugh and, water fly out. LOL.

Saturday went out with
Bread, Weiliang, Avin & Avan.
Laugh awhile, Chat and ate burnt peanuts, squash chips, spill green tea and i think thats all. LOL. Weiliang left aftrwards.
Moved on to Macs.
Inside, we sat beside the tap. They wash hand alr splash water on my leg okay. ):
Then they tried to drain the water tap and make a DIY swimming pool. Hahaha. :l
Went to 113? or breads house downstairs, chat and play til 10.30

Sunday met Bread, Weiliang Avin and Avan, same people, i know.
Meet alr hor, then i forgot what we do.
Nvm, we laugh. We laugh. We laugh.

Today Monday, we went out again. Same people, but with nara this time. :D
Took seperate Taxis to EastCoastPark.
Fuck the seawater. Who cares whether you're free flow or not, what matters most is that you're clean. Which you're not. -'-
Dirty + Manymanymany rocksstonepebbles.
Took bus. And bread lie on my lap.
Drop off at Bedok Interchange, ate at hawker centre.
Im quite worried that time cause I kena molest. ):
Kay skip it. Then hor then hor, we took bus to compasspoint.
Went to block 239, 9th floor. er.. a kinda rule? -.-
Smouaked "Prawn Crackers" there. LOL.
Went to AA batteries' house and smouak there too. :D
Went to the park and burn some I LOVE YOU FOREVER pouch. LOL.
Thats all.

Thinking shld I pei bread ton til tmr morning go sch anot.
But, If i kena caught sure kena scold. -.- Omfg, no comp to play. ;_;
If i pei her means in 2 days, I only slept for 2 hours 30mins+
):

2008-10-26T02:51:00.002+08:00

I can't tolerate her y'know.
I can't stop myself from critisizing her, cus' you know, there's just too much of bad stuffs about her.
I can make a list, bitch.
- DNB
- Flirt
- Pornstar
- Attnseeker
- Despo? LOL.
- Hypocrite
- Audacious
- Scandalous
- Loathsome
- Disreputable
- Despicable
Most importantly, you said I'm ugly. ):
Okay Im not really that sad cus' mind imagining,
An uglier person pointing at some girl, and say that SHE is ugly.
Oh god, thats just too sad. Probably because she's uglier than the worst creature in the universe.
Nah, maybe not that bad.
She'll be 99/100. :o
Anyway, i dont like inevitable quarrels. But hey, you started it first!
Okay Im being stupid now. -rollseye.
What makes you think that you're prettier.
I can swear that Im prettier than you.
I can stand in the middle of the crowd and say,
I AM PRETTIER THAN YOU. And I'll point my finger to you, ant. LOL.
I showed other people your friendster photos.
Look what they said :
1st :
Negg-ed you!! [KKL] says:
wtf.. whos is dat?
Cheers, lovebites says:
Er, someone. LOL. I asking you any comments or not lah. -.-
Negg-ed you!! [KKL] says:
yah.. i look at her, i tink i inside zoo. lolx
Cheers, lovebites says:
Zoo? Why. :o
Negg-ed you!! [KKL] says:
cos.. zoo alot of giraffe wad ! oso gt monkey.. hehe

2nd :
Oi, Its my BIRDDAY! HAHAHA. :x says:
ok lor.. onli dat, i tynk i prettier.. n u also prettier..
Cheers, lovebites says:
lol.
Negg-ed you!! [KKL] says:
even cows mum prettier.. i tynk lah.. cos u nv tell me whu so i honest. ><

COW MAN. LOLOLOL.
Cows have 4 nipples, oh babe, do you? :x
Nah. You have 2. But bigger ones, I supposed. lol.
Im tellin' you now, from any angle that you're looking at,
I AM PRETTIER. HAHAHAHA.
Im bhb, so what? Its confidence. LOL.
I got influenced from Jud, Now we're bhb-ians. LOL.

Now hor, I think of 3 person when you say BITCH.
Or maybe 6.. :o
1st : TAYYUXUAN
2nd : ___________
3rd : My sis. -.-
4th : RIBENA
5th : Britney Spears [LOL]
6th : You lah. Who call you read one. ==

Watching FearFactor now. LLOL.
Er ohya. Girl. Nono, CCB,
If you like to say me so much, then why not tell me in school.
Dont put up a fucking mask and smile when you hate me THIS much.
I cant tolerate you anyway, cause you're like, so fucking bitchy.
I've reached my limits, & thats because you've always backstabbed me.
You this stupid imbecile creature who critisises me without thinking twice,
Which is fine for now, but one day I'll fuck you to 18th floors of netherworld.

2008-10-18T00:51:00.002+08:00

went out with bread, joey, huiting, daryl, darenlee, jolene & weiliang tday.
er went to ehub, and kbox-ed from 2pm til 7.30pm
Kay real fun.
So, Weiliang confessed that he loves Joey, and Weiliang kissed Joey's hands.
Joey said she love Weiliang too. :D
For Daryl, ah nevermind. Our Dares very fuck. -.=
For Bread, she chose truth and she said, SHE, will jy Kaya. :D
For Huiting, we got her to call someone in her contacts, to "lend" hundred bucks. LOL.
For me, kena dare to say 'I GOT 3 TIAO..." kay.

Aftrwards, we play, er, blindmice.
Then darenless was the mice, and we're like hiding.
That stupidzxzx daryl jumped onto the sofa, without thinking about his weight, and broke the sofa into semihalf.
Kay so we were quite pissed cause we spent minutes and seconds sweating and thinking of an idea. -.=
Anyway, we still got the sofa fixed, but seems to be quite.. er dangerous if your weight is beyond limits and will just crush the sofa into bits and pieces.
Next was, 'hei bai pei', lololol.
Very fun. The one who loses hafta drink half cup of the coke.
Freeflow anw. :D
Then we're like, omfg cause bills came.
I said I'll fork out the money for Cinema. And those idiots don't have enough money.
$116 ley. -.=
So, I surrendered my 50bucks note. )):
Aftrwards, Jolene said she has 50dollar. I was like, oh fuck you man. -.=
K nvm. We ate alot at dont-know-what-teffire restaurant.
Nice scenery. Cause Its kinda greenish.

I still feel giddy aft hours of drinking breeeeeezer. ):

Extras :
Bread kissed meeeeeeeee. :D:D:D:D
I kissed Breadddddddddd. :D:D:D:D

And on Monday, its going to be lips&lips kiss. LOL.
Actually quite scary if anyone sees it, cause as you know we're kinda, same gender alright. -.=
Nah, Let's just fuck care. LOL.

Darenlee ! MONEY LAH.
DARENLEE ! YOU HURT MY WIFE.
DARENLEE, GO AND DIE. LOL.

2008-10-16T20:45:00.000+08:00

You, are a motherfucker.

2008-10-15T23:20:00.002+08:00

Helllllllllo Yx.
I'm making negative comments on you, but I'll just cut them short.
Kay so, you're really ugly. So don't post your pictures like that.
Don't delete it. Don't hj. Although you have no balls below but thrs balls on top.
Eyeballs, dont get the wrong idea.
Yeah so, f-ck off. :D Cause I reaaaaaaaaaaally dont like yoooooo. D:

And another one.
Don't backstab me then come OH HI LYNN HOW ARE YOU!?
Kay thats kinda hypocrite.
And just like Yx, you're not really pretty.
You 2 don't blur your photo to cover any imperfections.
Ah yes, you two really suck.
Be it in photo, in person or judging by attitude, you 2 still suck.
But you're better. Atleast you're not as bitchy as she is.

This is made for brenda ~ :D

I LOVE BRENDA
I LOVE BREAD
I LOVE KAYABREAD
I LOVE TO EAT BREAD
BREAD IS VERY NICE
I SPREAD KAYA ON BREAD
BREAD REALLY NICE.
I TELL YOU.
I PROMISE YOU, EAT ALR
KENA SHOCK
BUT WON'T DIE.
EVEN IF DIE,
COFFIN GUARANTEED.
OKAY I LOVE BRENDALINZX.
CAUSE SHE ROCKS ALOT.
MUHAHAHA.

2008-10-14T00:07:00.002+08:00

Success ~ ^^
maple lvl 35. Ahhhhhhhzxzx.
23points. 7 more ! :D
Tmr is back to sch day ~
& mrswong will definitely go abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz at me.
somemore I nv see doctor. =.=
ltr she will be like
''You must provide MC for your absent days, and not a letter or nothing at all !"
"CLASS DO YOU UNDERSTAND ANOT? You all really have no discipline!"
Ah, I remembered all.
I don't know what bag should I use.
Definitely not the new one.
Heehee. Now's time for audition.

I'll try to go to the same school as you, okay? ^^

2008-10-13T16:07:00.002+08:00

didnt go to school today.
slept at 6am, which i was supposed to wake up at that time.
woke up at 3.44pm.
Reached for my phone, but thr's no messages from you.
mrswong called my mother. so I think I'm going back to school tmr.
I saw 3 missed calls, wondering who called. I heard the background was noisy.
And I heard a voice saying '听看!'
And then hung up.
Don't know what went wrong.
But maybe you won't tell me anything.
K fine. I'll .. return to my cheerful self.
I try.

2008-10-13T00:56:00.003+08:00

This is the 284th post.
I had this feeling that its ending.
But don't ask me why.
Its 12 October, Sunday. 12.57AM.
Its reaching 1AM.
I really ran out of tears, don't know what to do anymore.
I'm tired. I'm sick. I'm going mad.

I don't know what you're trying to do.
Maybe you're trying to drive me crazy.
I don't wish to face any of you.
Cause It kills me when I'm alone.
I might die if I continue to be like this.
Don't worry, I wont break the two of you up. I'll let it be.
You won't come back to me even if I force you right?
I'm sorry, if I did anything that made you turn your back to me.
I'm afraid I wont be sleeping anymore.
Because when i close my eyes, all i see is the scene where you'd ignore me, and leaving me alone whereas you walk off with that girl.

I think you look happy.
Although I dont, but its enough to keep me satisfied as long as you're okay.
But I hope that girl would tell me what had happened to you when i'm not around.
Atleast, I still know whats going on.

Back to my day,
Stayed at home for almost the whole day until 7.30pm.
went to changi airport to eat.
thts all.

2008-10-09T12:17:00.002+08:00

gaaa. some sort of break today. no hmt.
sore from head to toe.

Head - fever, play in rain ytd.
Brain - headache
Nose - runnynose.
Teeth - toothache.
Hand - muscle ache
Fingers - no body cracked for me. :l
Heart - dont know why
Body - ytd night fall from bed. =.-
Hip - sat on the toilet bowl playing psp for 1h23mins. ;_;
Leg - muscle ache
Feet - only part thats still working normally.

Can't even sleep after waking up from the floor. Staring in blank space thinking of 6 vit.
I concentrated on one of it, thats her.
And after 30mins, I find myself very stupid.

How do you collect all the rubbish you've dumped?
How can you fix a torn tissuepaper?
But that's me, Naive.

I found myself on the floor when i woke up.
I found myself reading your blog when i on the computer.
I found myself staring at my phone praying for your message.

It's okay. But when this ends, I think I'm gone.
Don't drag. Cause I've been staring down at the window since I came home yesterday.

2008-10-07T21:48:00.002+08:00

I just saw my "contacts" stuff being ripped by a jbk.
Apparently, he don't seem to have originality to create his
own "contacts" section. And whats the difference between email & msn?
Okay actually theres a difference, but your email is also msn anw. -.-

kay nevermind.
i can start planning for my chalet tmr. >:D

I see you're happier with her.
You, obviously, didnt sink.
My heart sank.
So I stood away.
Tell me, who wouldn't feel extra,
when you dont even smile when you're with me,
but you laugh like never before when you're with her.
i felt like shit you know.
3rd stab directly.

2008-10-07T21:09:00.002+08:00

Lyrics,

T-shirt by Shontelle Layne

Hey, ohh, let me tell you no.
Oh baby.
Trying to decide, trying to decide if I, really wanna go out tonight.
I never use to go out without you, I'm not sure I remember how to.
I'm gonna be late gonna be late but, all my girls gonna have to wait cause, I don't know if I like my outfit.
I tried everything in my closet.

Nothing feels right when I'm not with you, sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
Taking them off cause I feel a fool, trying to dress up when I'm missing you.
Ima step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
In that I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on.
Oh, with nothing but your t-shirt on.

Hey, gotta be strong gotta be strong but I'm, really hurting now that you're gone.
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping, but I didn't get past the door and, now I don't know now I don't know if I'm, ever really gonna let you go and I, couldnt even leave my appartment.
I'm stripped down torn up about it.

Trying to decide, trying to decide if I, really wanna go out tonight.
I couldn't even leave my appartment, I'm stripped down torn up about it.

Nothing feels right when I'm not with you, sick of this dress and these jimmy choos.
Taking them off cause I feel a fool, trying to dress up when I'm missing you.
Ima step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something hanes.
In that I lay.

Hey hey, nothing feels right when I'm not with you.
Sick of this dress and these jimmy choos.
Taking them off cause I feel a fool, trying to dress up when I'm mising you.
Ima step out of this lengerie, curl up in a ball with something hanes.
In that I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on.
In nothing but your t-shirt on(2x)

If i aint got you by Alicia Keys

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you yeah

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

(chorus 2*)
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you,you,you

If I ain't got you with me baby ohhh
There's nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

Our song by Taylor Swift

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart
I look around, turn the radio down
He says baby is something wrong?
I say nothing I was just thinking how we don't have a song
And he says...

[Chorus:]

Our song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... 'fore I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

I was walking up the front porch steps after everything that day
Had gone all wrong or been trampled on
And lost and thrown away
Got to the hallway, well on my way to my lovin' bed
I almost didn't notice all the roses
And the note that said...

[Repeat Chorus]

I've heard every album, listened to the radio
Waited for something to come along
That was as good as our song...

Cause our song is the slamming screen door
Sneaking out late, tapping on his window
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow
Cause it's late and his mama don't know
Our song is the way he laughs
The first date "man, I didn't kiss him, and I should have"
And when I got home, 'fore I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin
And I... wrote down our song

2008-09-30T22:33:00.003+08:00

I alr said that Lynn is not me.
Heres the IP code laa hor.

Yours
220.255.7.163
"Lynn"'s
220.255.7.196
Mine
218.186.9.5

Look before pinpointing and say its me. -.-
Thanks.
& which part of me looks like a hero. I'm not acting like one either. What I said are facts.

2008-09-30T19:11:00.002+08:00

Oh yes, I forgot something. :o
This post is specially made for
Jason, Clar, Amanda, Ben, Kelvin and Chykoon

Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.
Thanks alot.

>:D

2008-09-30T19:00:00.002+08:00

now i'm stuck with polices.
er, what did i do wrong in the first place that i have to go
policepolicepolice. -.-

He did pass me the ipod.
And I scolded him. lololol. Yeah it was me who hinted him to get it, but its a waste of moolah rightzxzx.

anw, i dont think it was me who ran away. :I
Im like stuck with that security guard which told me to stay in the room.

-Chevroletx,
Er, whats your number again? :x

2008-09-29T16:05:00.002+08:00

Talking in close proximity,

Its fun. Its my hobby. Anyway, In school now. >:D
Jason's waiting for me now. He said he has a present for me. Can guess. Cause I sorta hint him I wanted Ipod. lolol.

Quarreled with Jackson & Karrey. And right after the conversation end, another case start. >:L
Im sorta busy this week. I don't know how am I gonna split into 2 and meet them.
One with a girl named Meiyan, or 117 Gathering. :/

Both 5pm. Oh fuck.
Er yes, Meiyan. To avoid you to blame me & amidst the confusion, I think its better that you know, the "smoker" whom you assumed its you that cut-down-to-15-sticks-a-day, xlewis_josiie@hotmail.com Er this email does exist and if you dont wanna believe thats up to you. I can get that bitch to on her msn and we 3 can talk on msn.

Josiie, stop wearing your skirt up to your god damn nehneh just to make your skirt look short. Wth. Dont compare your skirtlength with me. I'm not as bitchy as you are.
If you wanna compare, compare your height with me. Dont throw face. Zzz. You're not much different from an elf. Short, and fat. I have almost all your information now.
- JosieLewIxSin
- 14
- Normal Tech, Class 3.
- 143cm tall, 62kg.

And, Don't smoke infront of me please.
If you want to smoke dont cut down. Dont kick the habit.
You're a fooking bitch with a oh-my-boyfr. Okay I have yr boyfriend's info pls. -.-
- WongBingTing
- 14
- Normal Acad, Class 5
- 144cm tall, 44kg.

Okay look at that. Your height is 1cm diff and your weight.. oh nevermind. :/
Think I dont know. Your blog has my name on it. -.- Dont rip my stuffs you jb.
Rip my skin still rip my intro sec.
Fine, you rip. Dont use your boyfriend to threaten me when your boyfriend is afraid of police. Fucker.

2008-09-28T23:55:00.003+08:00

Jb laa hor, you smoke also dont have to let others know de right. Zzz.
Its like, wtf. see this :
"ok lah. i will cut down to 15 sticks a day"
15 sticks aday is not very less. Zzz. Cut down for what. Jb.
You want smoke, smoke until you die lah. muthafooker.
Disgustingly twit.
Dont have to talk liike dhhatx derhx muahhx.
wtf. dont act cute lah. yr god dam stupid hotmail/friendster
*le***_****ie@hotmail.com
Actually its quite obvious. Just that it depends if that muthafooker would visit my blog. >:D I hope she does. And I think she's just an attention seeker who wants people to be afraid of her just because she smokes. And she's acting like as if she's got a fucking gang which would protect her at "any" cost. -.-

Some gang really sucks cause they run when they are in trouble and leave their gangmembers to settle for them. and thats what i call humji. Theres one stupid gang which i've heard, fcuking humji. zzz. 1**
They scolded others motherfucker say they honggan chupsiew all these.
and when the they wanted to meet up, they fly aeroplane. Fucker right? -.-

She has a ok-boyfriend. But thats why i think its a waste.
Her name is, a decent girl's name, so it doesnt suit a smoker like her. >:D

2008-09-25T15:19:00.002+08:00

I'm making this post very long. Dont make a fuss. I feel like crying now.
Hais.

His Diary :

To forget you: That is the most impossible thing to do.

To forget is just an interpretation. An immeasurable love’s memories can never be wiped off. Time doesn’t devour memories: It just slowly, painfully converts it into fragments of a dream. Occasionally, something will spark the wrath of the dream, and the dream will alter into a memory again.

To forget you. Is not to remember you. Every single detail in life reflects you. Every MRT Station I see, every drink I drink, every shirt I wear. But to forget you, what I have to do is not to remember you: Not to remember that we once kissed at this MRT Station, not to remember that we once shared that drink, not to remember that you bought me that shirt.

For now, sinking into a memory of one of the touches you stroked on me, I cannot remember the physical touch, but I can remember the delicacy of it.

Have I forgotten you, superwoman? When I tried to forget you, I had just thought of you again. Are you, are you thinking of me now, as my mind revolves with your image, again and again?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was not a decision based on emotions when I decided to break the news to you. I had thought of it for months: The happiness that we shared, it is never going to last, and if that is so, why still pursue a love that is going to writhe away soon? Why create more happiness, when I know that this ring of glee is going to be part of a memory that you will dearly miss, and I will heartbreakingly forget?

Before I met you, I wondered why all the lyrics in love songs were so exaggerated: Why do lyricists create such mushy and overemotional sentences? Why can’t they just write a good melody without those melodramatic lyrics? That is plain exaggeration.

Before I fell in love with you, I thought romance novels were just so silly: Why would a person cry for another person for hours? How could a person wait for his lover for years? That is plain silliness.

Before we became a couple, I thought romance movies were just so stupid: How could a person love another person so deeply that it became an obsession? How could one sacrifice so much, even to the extent of his own life, for his lover? That is plain stupidity.

When I realized I had fallen so deeply in love with you, I finally understood that songs, novels and movies are just reflections of life, inspired by the writers’ true stories.

Because when I decided to end our relationship, I realized our story mirrors a love song that I once heard, a novel you once read and a movie we once watched.

When I step out of the main door, I love you deeply, but am going to tell you that we are going to separate soon. The pain is not the separation: The pain is the love that we share; the love that was once so blissful is never going to be refreshed again.

The pain is that we are still so much in love, yet we have to let go now. Only someone who had experienced this before will understand.

Isn’t it ironic? It is my profound love for you that brought us together. Now, it is the same profound love that will separate us.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We have known each other for two hundred and thirteen months now, and have been together for ninety months.

You should have seen it coming, right? For the last few months, I have been exceptionally quiet. It used to be me calling you in the night more than you calling me. But last month, I didn’t even give you a call. You were the one who called.

You can feel it, right? We used to meet at least four times a week. But last month, we met only once a week. You scolded me, but you can tell that I didn’t feel a speck of remorse, right?

“I’m sorry.” I start, my low voice cutting into the tranquil night. I have come today not to explain, but to inform. I didn’t enter the house, but stood outside the gates with my bike parked near the road, an unfamiliar parking position.

“What? For being late again? I’m used to it, superman. What is the thing that you cannot say on the phone?”

“I think… we should break up.”

You smile, that smile that used to melt my heart. I look away as your voice rings chokingly into my ears: “Yeah, me too.”

Maybe there’s laughter; I can’t tell. “I’m not joking.” I say. You are still putting on that smile. It must be hard for you to digest this for I never crack this kind of joke. The silence slices back, and I feel like we are two trapped butterflies in a bottle, waiting to be experimented on.

“I’m sorry.” I say. “Sorry.” I step back. “Sorry.” I say again, and distance away from you. “Sorry.” I say again. “Sorry.” I forget how many apologies I made.

We are separated by a pair of closed gates between us. What you need to do is to push a button on your remote key and the gates will swing open: But if it swings open and breaks off the barrier between the both of us, the gates will hit me as it swing outwards towards me.

Isn’t that an appalling reflection of our relationship? Breaking the barrier will allow us to be together, but one of us will be hurt. One of us has to give way, and I have volunteered to be the one.

I turn and walk towards my bike. Maybe you’re crying. Haven’t you seen it coming? These few months, our conversations were like two strangers who had just become friends. Six steps later, I finally turn my head a little to steal a glance – a final glance maybe - at you. I cannot see you clearly, because in front of my eyes are my own tears.

Are they tears of sorrow, or tears of relief?

“Come back, you stupid idiot!”

I turn the key on my motorbike and the headlights shone. Then I push the “start” button and the bike roars a little.

“Why?” After you said that, the sound of the gates opening echoes into the serene night. As you march towards me, I can hear your every step. “Please tell me why. It’s a joke, right? Right?”

I fix my eyes on the bike, not wanting you to see my reddened eyes.

“Stop right there!” You say, and grab my hand. I push your hand away gently.

I can remember the delicacy, but not the touch. I have forgotten the touch, but not the delicacy.

“I’m sorry.” I say. “Forget me.”

“I can’t!”

“But I had.” I say, my voice fading to a whisper.

“I’m crying.” You say. I can hear it: Your sentences were chalky, and your voice was high. Blood. Blood? Why do I think of blood when you said that you were crying?

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t remember your promise?”

I sit on my bike and put on my helmet.

“How about Superland? How about our promises? How about our time capsules? We can work things out, superman!”

Superland. Our promised land. Our time capsules. We will be married. Apples’ Day. Super Day.
I press on the clutch and kick to gear one. Your eyes are red, and you are blinking fast, waiting for an answer from me.

Through my full-face helmet, I just say sheepishly, “I’m sorry. Please don’t look for me anymore.” Maybe you didn’t hear that, for my voice is soft with despair.

I release the clutch, twist the throttle and lift both my legs up. “Come… back, you stupid idiot.” Your voice faints off, just like our memories.

Before I leave my flat, I had already put all my emotions on hold: I will no longer be controlled by my emotions, or by you.

Don’t you understand, superwoman? It’s for your own good. Why will I want to break off with you, when laughter and bliss surround us? Because I can no longer provide you with the same happiness; I will be late for our dates for two hours, four hours, eight hours, sixteen hours, days, months. You will disappear from my life soon, while I will live in your mind endlessly. Because if both of us are to cry, I want to be the one who cries louder, I want to be the one who takes a longer time to recover. I want to absorb all the sadness from you. Why don’t I disappear instead, so that you will find another superman who loves you truly?

The utmost pain in this world is not breaking up with you: It is remembering the love that we once shared, yet there is no likelihood to revive this love once again.

I don’t remember the tears; I only remember the pain.

Her Diary:

Maybe I should have seen it coming earlier, when he did not call me last month. I did all the calling. Maybe he was tired, I convinced myself. Maybe he had forgotten, I told myself. Maybe he was occupied with some personal troubles, I thought. Maybe, so many maybes.

I should have seen it coming, when he started to talk less whenever we were together. He was avoiding my glares, and every look I darted at him was met with apprehension. When we started to meet once a week instead of the usual four to five times a week, I should have seen it coming, I should have asked him what had happened. But instead, I let my anger stepped over me, scolded him and thought that would change everything.

“I’m sorry.” He said, when he stood motionlessly outside the gates of my house. He had told me over the phone that he wanted to tell me something important. When I wanted to open the gates for him, he waved and remained outside, like I was a prisoner talking to a visitor.

“What? For being late again?” I stroked my nose. He is always late, be it for breakfast, lunch or dinner. “I’m used to it, superman. What is the thing that you cannot say on the phone?”

“I think… we should break up.” He said, his string of words breaking into two parts, like he was stressing the intention of his sentence.

When he said that, the first word that came to my mind was “joke”. He must be joking, for he always jokes. I wetted my lips with my tongue and replied, “Yeah, me too.”

His next few words came in stabs. “I’m not joking.” He said, and he must have meant it, for his eyes were away from mine again. Every word from him was usually accompanied by an emotion: But as he mouthed that, he showed no traces of emotion.

I opened my mouth and then bit the air that I had just inhaled. He apologized, again and again, again and again, but what I wanted to hear from him was not “I’m sorry”, but “I’m joking”.

It was after the five apologies he had made before he wheeled. His motorbike, that motorbike that I had hated so much, was parked near him. I took a deep breath, registered from my coma and then memories of us together flushed into my mind. He never jokes about stuffs like that: Never.

It was not a joke.

He had, when I shook myself back to reality, powered up his bike. I stared at the foreign scenario in front of me and said, “Come back, you stupid idiot!”

I pushed the button on my remote and the gates swung outwards. “Why? Please tell me why. It’s a joke, right? Right?” I took heavy steps towards him, hoping that he would just turn and tell me, hey, it’s the joke of the year.

But he did not. He eyed around like he was looking for something. “Stop right there!” I reached for his hand, the familiar touch that we shared countless times. He pushed me away gently, deep in thoughts, as if trying to remember something secluded from his mind.

“I’m sorry.” His voice moved through the night. “Forget me.”

“I can’t!” I yelled. Then the tears: They came.

“But I had.” He said. He had. He had forgotten. He had forgotten me, superwoman, Lee Fang Ling, the woman he promised to marry? The woman whom he loves – loved – so deeply? I took in deep breaths. He had once promised, seven years ago, that for every single millilitre of tear that I shed due to sadness, he would shed the same amount of blood. Promises: Are they created to be broken?

“I’m crying.” I said.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t remember your promise?” I thought, and realized that the thought had driven through my lips. I waited. Two breaths: That was all he took to think before settling down on his motorbike and putting on his helmet. “How about Superland? How about our promises? How about our time capsules? We can work things out, superman!”

Tears are such uncontrollable creatures. I tried taking in deep breaths, I tried not to blink, but they just came, spurred by the thought that he is leaving me, all of a sudden.

His bike roared. “Come…” I said, but my throat was choked with phlegm. As the bike rocketed forward, distancing away from me, I continued my sentence, “…back, you stupid idiot.”

And I wondered if he had heard my plea, my love, his love, our love, my pain.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I did not dare to bathe, for I was afraid that if I left my handphone alone, he would call and if I did not pick up, he would give up on me altogether. I changed into my pyjamas, put the phone on the table and stared. Everything on the table seemed to contain fragments of our memories together: That picture we took when we went to Japan together for our “honeymoon”, the little soft toy that he spent a hundred dollars to win at an arcade, the first Neoprint we took when we were sixteen years old.

Half an hour later, I used my house phone to call my handphone to make sure that it was working. Then I used my handphone to call my house phone to ensure its workability. Everything was fine; except that both the phones had not rung, and that was what mattered, because eight hours later, the phones still did not ring and I was still staring at my table: Fragments of our memories.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Kenny?” I said. My voice sounded hoarse.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m sick today, and won’t be coming to work. I’ve told my parents. I’ll call back later to tell you how many days’ MC I have.”

“Okay. Any appointments for you today?”

I ransacked my mind. There seemed to be one, but I said, “No, I don’t think so. Tell Hui Ying and Siti not to make any appointments for me for the rest of the week.”

“Okay. Are you okay?”

“No.” I said and hanged up without saying bye.

Then I grabbed my handphone and dialed the number that had been embedded into my mind.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As I pushed the numbers on my handphone, a small envelope appeared at the top left corner of the screen. I cleared the numbers away and read the message. “Superman” appeared on the sender section, and four slicing words blinked at the contents section:

“Pls dun contact me.”

I nearly dropped the phone. I was just about to look for him, and he had just messaged me, telling me not to look for him? I closed my handphone, dropped onto the chair and looked at the line of decorations on my table again. Which single molecule is not a memory of him?

I pushed the chair away, stood up and reached for my wardrobe. For years, I had always defied his words, and I will do it one more time, and hopefully, a million more times.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We were three years into our relationship then: There was no sign of any loss in love, and our relationship was as steady as a rock. We chatted with each other every night, and updated each other of our status almost every hour. Friends around me said we would be the first couple to get married among them: I just smiled through their comments, although I knew their remarks contained a certain tingle of truth.

We were walking towards my house after a movie. He had, as usual, parked his motorbike at my house, and would ride back home after walking me to my house. There was a weird silence from him as we neared my house, and when we were metres from my house, he halted and leaned close to me. I was expecting a kiss; but I felt breaths on my right ear instead.

“I just want to tell you… how much I love you.” He suddenly said, winked and struck out his tongue, his trademark action.

I put on my widest grin and wanted to face him, but he continued, “I will love you forever, but if one day… one day, if we ever break up, go to my room, pull out the first drawer on the right.”

I blinked a few times quickly and licked my lips. We were happy throughout the whole day, and this just came out of nowhere.

“What’s in there?” I was expecting myself to scold him, but in the serene night, I did not want to wake the neighbours up.

He then planted a soft kiss on my cheek, which dissolved the anger ringing within me. “Our memories. To remember you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I did not take long to decide what to wear: A t-shirt and jeans complete with slippers would suffice. When I was in the taxi, I told the driver the name of the address and two minutes later, I throw ten dollars to him and sent Zhi Jie a message: I’m going to your house. When I pushed the doorbell, no one opened the door. After the second ring, his mother, an old and frail woman with thin peppered hair, opened the door. I had given her a nickname a few years ago: Milo. It meant “Mother-In-Law-Okay?”.

“Where’s your keys?” Milo said. I dug into my pocket and realized I had forgotten to bring his flat’s keys. I just gave her a wide forced smirk and walked in causally.

“Jie isn’t at home.”

“I know.” I replied. He would be at work now, shelving detergents or toilet rolls into the shelves at Boon Lay Shopping Centre’s NTUC FairPrice.

Milo was eyeing the television, biting her teeth as she blinked rapidly. I started for Zhi Jie’s room. Does Milo know? About what Zhi Jie had done yesterday? Zhi Jie is someone who always keeps his troubles to himself: Whenever he feels distraught, he will coop himself in his room and a while later, a rainbow will emerge after his rain and everything will be fine again.

The pictures of him and me, which used to be on his table, were gone. The poster of us hugging each other was no longer the wallpaper of his wardrobe. Every trace of our relationship was gone; just like that, in a night.

I knew where he would place them. In large heavy steps, I stomped to the storeroom and saw all the photographs of us jumbled in a white plastic carrier. Why had he wanted to shift our memories into a plastic carrier?

I dragged myself towards his table and with my shivering hand, I pulled out the first drawer on the right. I was expecting an old diary, or the time capsules that we had buried three years ago, or maybe just nothing. Or maybe, in the deepest realm of my mind, I was hoping that it is a slip of paper with the words “Superwoman, I am just joking!”. But it was none of the above.

There was a black Creative Mp3 Player, with a Sony earpiece connected to it. There was nothing else in the drawer. I reached for the Mp3 Player and lowered my eyebrows. An Mp3 Player?

“Are you okay?” Milo’s voice rang into the room. I jumped a step back and nearly lost my footing. Milo looked worried: Her eyebrows were shaped like a V. I nodded, held on to the Mp3 Player and closed the drawer. Then I waved bye to Milo and walked out of the flat, plunging the earpieces into my ears and pushing the “play” button. There was only one audio file in the Mp3 Player, and it was named “Our Memories”.

"Our Memories" -- His Mp3.

Hey, superwoman. You’re everywhere. Today is the eighteenth of June. The time is now seven in the evening, and you had just scolded me two hours ago, and I have decided to do this, so that I would not forget our memories.

Do you remember the first time that we met?

When I first saw you, you were sitting three desks away from me, your eyes always on the teacher. We were both seven years old that year, and that was when I believed in love at first sight: For a few minutes later, we kept on staring at each other.

“Hey,” I walked towards you and started the conversation, do you remember?

“What?” You said, your voice still a girlish tone. When you turned to face me, you did not smile.

“Can I borrow a pencil?” I whispered.

“You don’t have a pencil?”

I shook my head, wondering if our classmates had heard us.

“Okay.” You reached into your Hello Kitty pencil box and scooped out a mechanical pencil. I almost jumped back, for that kind of pencil cost more than two dollars.

“So expensive.” I said.

“Do you want it, or not?”

“Okay!” I took it. The class suddenly went still and quiet. I glanced up and saw a big-sized woman strolling into the classroom.

“Why are you moving around?” The big woman pointed at me. All our classmates looked at you and me.

“She…” I pointed at you with the pencil. “She wanted to borrow a pencil from me. She told me to come here to pass her the pencil.” I said and put the pencil on your table before running back to my seat.

Did you remember that you turned and stared at me eighteen times during Miss. Teo’s lesson? Eighteen times; I had counted every single stare.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I don’t like you.” You said during recess time, when I queued just behind you to buy fishball noodles. Do you know that I hated fishball; that I had gone to that stall so that I could stand behind you?

“Why?” I shot back.

“If you want to borrow a pencil, be a man! Don’t borrow and then when you’re scolded, say I borrow from you. That’s so childish.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I don’t like to eat fishball noodles.” I said when you told me how delicious the noodles would taste if we add chilli. “Fishball is so slippery, I’m scared that I will choke on the fishball.”

“Then why you always buy fishball noodles?”

I kept quiet.

“Really, you don’t queue up when you don’t want to buy, okay? Don’t waste our time, can?”

I then pondered for a few seconds on whether or not I should tell you the truth.

“Can? You want or not? You always queue here, it’s sort of annoying, you know? You know what is annoying?”

“I don’t like to eat fishball, but I like to look at fishball.” I said. It was a lie; a white lie, like what Michael always said.

“Then go away and look at plates of fishballs.”

“Because, Fang Ling, you look like a fishball.” I said, and that is so true, because I like to look at you. I took a step back and my feet hit something. Someone yelled and I turned back.

“I’m not a fishball.” You said and diverted your attention back to the queue.

“Sorry.” I whispered, but as usual, you did not hear what I wanted you to hear.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My parents had once said that I am a little different from other kids: I would learn things slower than other mainstream students, and in order for my mind’s defense mechanism to counter that, I would say out things that would not make sense so as to cover my flaws. My mother said that was not an illness, but a weakness; as long as I have the will to overcome it, I will be just like a normal child.

Basically, when I was young, I had social problems. I only consulted a psychiatrist after my father’s death.

That day, when Mrs. Wong asked us what a fishball is made of, I gasped aloud, as I had just told you during recess time that you looked like a fishball. A few of my classmates raised their hands. You were one of them.

“Zhi Jie!”

I shivered, and felt my blood running throughout my whole body. I did not raise my hand!

“What’s the answer?”

I did not even know what lesson it was. I tried to make out an explanation: Was it made of fish, or was it made of soccer ball? I was supposed to give an answer, not two, and something triggered into my mind. I smiled and looked at your direction. You were staring at me, your hand still raised, still grabbing on to the opportunity to impress the class.

“Fishball is made of Fang Ling. Mrs. Wong, do you know who Fang Ling is?” I said. A few classmates laughed. Mrs. Wong lowered her eyes and twisted her head a little, an expression of confusion. “There.” I pointed at you. “That’s Fang Ling. Doesn’t she look like a fishball?”

Everyone laughed, and that was when I first saw you shedding tears. Do you know that as you cried, I was hoping so much to run to you and wipe off your tears, but I had no tissue paper so I just ignored you? And after that, I promised to myself that if you were to shed another drop of tear, I would wipe your tears off personally, whether or not I have a tissue paper with me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Sorry.” I said. I had risked my life by walking from my table to yours after English lesson and was crossing my fingers, hoping that Miss. Teo will fall down on her way up the stairs so that we will have more time to talk. “Are you still crying?”

“Go away.” You said.

“I’m sorry.” I repeated.

“I’m not. Go away.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Go away!” You yelled. I backed off, frowned and stared at you one last time before I ambled towards my table.

“Tan Zhi Jie! Where are you going?”

I turned and saw Miss. Teo at the threshold of the classroom. My legs froze. I was still three steps away from my table.

“Why are you always walking about?” She shouted. I turned to face her. You were staring at me with a smirk, like a look of victory.

“Fang Ling treated me to eat fishballs at her table.” I replied. “But I prefer to eat my own balls.” I then walked towards my table like nothing had happened. I did not understand then why Miss. Teo sent me to talk to Mrs. Raja, a school counsellor, after that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hey, superwoman, do you remember the first “cold war” that we had?

“P.E stands for Physical Education.” I remembered the first sentence that I said to you, after two months of cold war that you had inflicted on me, was that.

“Go away.” You said. I wanted to play “catching”, but the teacher was teaching us some silly game. Every one of us was looking away from the teacher, looking at the cloud that seemed to be changing shapes every few minutes.

“I can’t go away, not during P.E lesson.”

You turned away from me and moved your butt further away from me as the teacher mouthed on about the rules of the game.

“Are you still angry? Are we still…” I wanted to use the word ‘friends’, but I halted, thought of other words and instantly proclaimed, “…husband and wife?”

“What the?” You turned, looked at me deep in the eyes and then the P.E. teacher – a skinny and old guy – screamed your name. You jumped a little, and then he machine-gunned a total of ninety-seven words to you before continuing with the lesson. You did not cry, but I could see your eyes turning red and tears struggling to drop out.

Do you remember what I did? I took out my t-shirt and wiped your eyes with it. Then you screamed, I screamed and we were taken to the principal’s room. It was my ninth visit, and your first visit.

Do you know I was just trying to wipe off your tears, and that I was not trying to dirty your face with my t-shirt?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When we were eight years old, I finally told someone about my love for you.

It was during Lunar New Year. My cousin Jacky, who was twenty years old then, had brought a new girlfriend to show off to our relatives. His new girlfriend had big almond eyes and red bloody lips, with boobs the size of watermelons.

I had always liked Jacky. In the afternoon when all the adults crowded to talk, I went towards to him. He was counting his earnings from his card games at the corner of the living room.

“Jacky kor kor,” I started, looking around to see if his girlfriend was around. “What is love?”

I remember that when I said that, an image of you in your P.E. t-shirt flashed inside my head repeatedly, like a hallucination that refused to budge off.

“Ah jie! God oh god, you’re P3 now?”

“I am not god, nor am I your dog. I am in primary two and I am eight years old this year.”

“Right. What love, dude? Fatherly love?” He turned and seemed to be trying to scan for my father. “Or motherly love? Love for money? Love for angbao? What love, dude?”

“Love as in loving each other.” I said, and realized I had dropped my voice into a whisper.

“Right on. Why not you tell me what happened? Jia Wen and I can give you some godly advice, you know. How cool is that, little man?”

“I’m fine, you look cooler.” I rubbed my hands and wondered if I should tell him about you. In my mind, you no longer wore your P.E. t-shirt: You were wearing a red dress and was asking your relatives for hong baos.

“You’re still having that social skill problem eh. Okay, come on, tell me, or not?”

“I know a girl.” I said. I was wondering if you had changed into a fly and was flying towards the living room from your house. “She is my classmate.” I said, regretted, and said, “Not really. Friend.” Regretted again. “Very close.” A lie, so I scratched my nose. “Not classmate, not friend, very close.”

“Then, Romeo, who is this girl? The auntie who sells fishball noodles at the canteen?” He laughed, although I did not find it amusing.

“No, Fang Ling don’t sell fishball noodles, but she looks like a fishball.”

Jacky laughed out loud and tapped the floor repeatedly. “Okay, I get you. Fishball girl Fang Ling. Yeah, what about her?”

“I think I like her.” I said.

“Oh, love story.” Jacky said, and his girlfriend – Jia Wen – came walking towards us. I frowned.
“It’s not a story. It’s the truth.”

Jia Wen greeted me and Jacky did an introduction. He told her I had some social skill problems but as he had not asked me a question, I did not say anything. Their conversation slowly drifted into whispers and then ballooned into a loud laughter.

“Interesting! Come closer to me, Zhi Jie.” Jia Wen closed in on me, and my head nearly hit her breasts. “Tell me about Fang Ling.”

“I am close.” I said. “I can’t tell, because she may be coming soon.”

“Oh? You bringing your lover here today?”

“She is a fly.” I replied quickly. I changed my attention back to Jacky. “Jacky kor kor, can tell me what love is?”

“Love.” Jacky looked away, and then looked at Jia Wen. “Is simple. Do you think of this girl everyday? Hoping to see her every single second? Hoping to make her smile every minute? Hoping to see her laugh every hour?”

I slid away from Jia Wen and looked at Jacky in the eyes. I had no answer. “I am in love.” I said.

“Sure? Yours must just be puppy love.”

“What is puppy love?”

“Puppy love is just love… without emotions. Just like a crush, you know. Just a childhood thingy. Let it go, little Romeo.”

“No. Mine is not puppy love.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I think of her everyday, I want to see her every single second, I want to make her smile every minute, I want to make her laugh every hour.” I said, and for the first time in my life, the sentence came through not directly from my head to my mouth: It went through a series of thoughts, and suddenly, I realized I was replying logically to a question, and the answer sent me to ecstasy.

Because it involves you, and anything that involves you is good.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Do you remember the day that I decided to tell you about my feelings? We were ten years old then.
It was a serene morning. It might have looked like I had just decided to tell you all of a sudden, but that was not true. I had spent days doing research on you, and I knew that on every Wednesday, you would come to school earlier. You would walk to the school canteen, buy a slice of watermelon and then eat alone at the sixth bench.

When you were alone in the canteen, chewing on the watermelon with your mouth all red, I ambled towards you. Do you know that all of a sudden, my legs felt so heavy, and my cheeks felt so hot? It was like the journey from the school car park to the school canteen was a few kilometres away.

You had almost finished eating and were rubbing your nose, with your legs crossed and your flowery underwear fully exposed. I stole a peek, then another and drifted my eyes away, afraid that you had caught my glance. After a total of nineteen steps which took five minutes, I was standing just in front of you, beams of sweat dripped out from my sloping hairstyle. Everything around us froze, and all I saw was you looking at me with those dearest eyes once more.

“What?” You had said, your voice in a measured tone. I was trying to fix my eyes on your face instead of your underwear, which was making me felt weird yet excited. Ha.

“What is that?” I pointed at you, then my finger floated down to your underwear, and I lifted my finger up again. “What are you eating?”

“Watermelon.” You said, staring at me like I had owed you a thousand dollars.

“You drink water, you don’t eat water.” I said and realized I was still pointing at you. “Do you know?”

“Know what?”

I tried to flush out the recollections and the rehearsals I had made the day before. I could remember every single word; you were not supposed to say what you had just said. My script was completely wrong. My eyes dropped to your underwear and rolled up as quickly as possible.

“That is Winnie the Pooh.” I whispered.

“What is Winnie The Pooh?” You were saying.

I pointed at your underwear, wore a smile on my lips and said as soft as I could, “Your underwear is Winnie The Pooh.” Within seconds, I thought I could fit my script in. But you stared at me, and your eyeballs turned from white to red and then water seeped out from your eyes, and I was summoned to the principal’s room again, my fourteenth visit in two years.

Her Diary II

I had listened to “Our Memories” at the void deck of Zhi Jie’s flat for ten minutes, and then went up to his apartment again. When Milo saw me, she forced out a smile and offered a drink, which was weird, because for years, I had poured myself a drink at his flat. This unit - #08-108 – had become my second home. I told Milo I was fine and after fifteen minutes, she went to her room for a rest whereas I sat alone in the living room.

I switched channels on the television at least a few hundred times during the five hours wait. Every channel seemed to be re-runs of old MediaCorp dramas: Dramas that showed couples splitting up due to a third-party. Had Zhi Jie found a third-party? Then what was this – this “Our Memories”?

Milo woke up at five and asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. I hesitated, and then said yes. She went to the kitchen and the familiar smell swam into my nose again: Her cooking had always surpassed my maid’s. But for years, I had dined at his home not because of the food; but because I was dining with Zhi Jie, and I felt like part of this Tan family.

Zhi Jie reached home at exactly six. He was fidgeting with his dishevelled hair as he opened the gates and put his helmet to a side. When he saw me sitting on the sofa, he opened his eyes widely and licked his lips.

“I’m staying for dinner.” I said. Words like this seemed weird now. “How’s work?”

Zhi Jie strolled towards me, and when he saw the Mp3 Player on the coffeetable, he gasped softly, and then took a step away from me as if I was infected with an infectious flu virus. “We’ve…” He looked up towards the kitchen then lowered his voice. “…broken up.”

I jolted up from the sofa, my knees nearly hitting one of the legs of the coffee table. My hands were in fists when I pushed my head towards him. “Why didn’t you pick up my calls?” I said, stepping towards him and punching his chest once. “Huh? Do you know how many times I called?”

He said nothing and shook his head softly. I pushed him and he backed a few steps.

“Answer me!”

“I am sorry.”

“Tell me what the hell is going on!” I scowled and pointed at him. I did not give a damn how the neighbours would react now; if they wanted to complain, let them complain. “Think carefully and tell me what had happened!”

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t sorry me!” I yelled. “Don’t you sorry me, you idiot. Just tell me, just tell me what is wrong. Why…” My tears- they just rolled out all of a sudden. I stepped back and dropped onto the sofa, my teeth trembling. “I’m crying. Remember your promise? Remember your silly, stupid promise?”

Zhi Jie bended down a little, but stopped as he was an arm’s length away from me. He was blinking a lot faster as well, an indication of tears welling up in his eyes.

“What’s wrong, superman? Tell me, we can work this out. Seven years, six months. We’re together for seven and a half years. Can you bear to leave this relationship, and let it writhe away, just like that? Can you, after so many years of memories, so many years of love?”

He did not even take a second to think when he said: “Sorry, I’m tired of this relationship.”

“Just like this?” I was starting to cap my face with my hands. He once promised – promised that he would never let me cry again. “Just like this? One word? Tired? Please, we can work-”

“I’m sorry-”

“Shut up. Give me a reason. A valid reason!”

Through my fingers and my tears, I could see him pondering hard. He was scratching his head, as if trying to remember something. “I’m… tired. I’m tired of us together, I’m sick and tired. Just forget me.”

“That’s not a valid reason.”

“That’s the truth. Please give me the keys. We’re over.”

“Ninety months.”

“Please.”

“I’m not leaving.” I detached my hands away from my face and stared right into his blinking eyes. “I’m not going to return you the keys, until you give me a valid reason.”

“I’m sorry.” He said, turned, walked towards the gates, grabbed his helmet and left the flat without locking the gates.

Our Memories II -- His MP3 Player

We were primary five then, and you sat six tables away from me. You had grown a lot faster than me, and you were at least three centimetres taller than me. Did you know that bothered me, not because I was annoyed that I was shorter than you, but because of your height, you sat behind me and I had no chance to look at you?

Amazing that I am one head taller than you now, eh?

There was a boy who was of your height. I can still remember his name like how a soldier remembers his nemesis’ name: His name is Adrian. I hated him to the core, because on the second day of school, he put his hand on your shoulder as he talked to you. He had called you like you two were close; or maybe, you two were.

You were always talking with him. I tried to eavesdrop, tried to walk pass you two as often as possible, but I always failed to listen to what you two were saying. Adrian had sharp eyes and a height that towered over many guys. He did not do anything nasty to me, but did you know that on the third day of school, I finally snapped? I went to him and despite him clenching his fist when I approached him, I said, “Hey, don’t think you’re big just because you are big.”

He then showed me how true confusion looked like: V and O. His eyebrows lowered to a V shape and his mouth turned into an O.

“You know Fang Ling?” I pressed on.

“Yeah.” He said. Of course he knew, I thought.

“She’s my friend.” I said, and my heart ached. Friend, I had said, without even thinking about you. Friend.

“Yeah, mine too. What’s up?”

That was when I thought I had enough: I pulled my fist to my back, and then within seconds, I jolted my punch forward. He caught my hand in mid-air with one hand, like how a baseball player catches a ball, and pushed me back.

“What.” I said, blinked ten times rapidly and fanned my hand. “Don’t think you’re big.”

“You’re sick, man.” Adrian said and walked off.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The world just seemed weird all of a sudden when Ben and Ridhuan came to me. Do you remember these two gangsters?

“Kena bullied, is it?” Ben said to me in “perfect Singlish”.

It was a question, and I thought of Adrian for five nanoseconds, you for six nanoseconds and replied: “Yes.”

“Adrian Kee, is it?”

I nodded. Do you know I almost mouthed out your name as well?

“He’s a kee siao guy.” Ridhuan cut in. The two of them were famous for getting into fights and were regulars in the detention room.

“Yeah, he’s siao. I dulan him for very long already. Sibei jia lat leh.” Ben said, and all I understood was that they were cursing Adrian, which made me feel good.

“Yah, tell you what, retard, you join us and we help you hoot Adrian. Want or not?” Ridhuan said.

“What is hoot?”

They then laughed together, and images of potatoes floated in my mind. Suddenly, the potatoes molded to the shape of your face, and into Adrian’s.

“Hoot is beat!” Ben said, swung a fist at me and held back just in time. “Want or not?

The image of Adrian being beaten up by Ben and Ridhuan aroused me. I pictured Adrian lying on the floor, begging me for mercy. Then I saw you beside him, smiling at me, as if telling me “well done”.

“Okay. How much is the membership fee?” I said.

They laughed again, this time louder. I did not understand why they liked to laugh so much. Finally Ben grabbed me by the shoulder and led me away from the canteen. “One thousand loyalty points, retard…”

Well, that was the worst mistake I had ever made in my life, superwoman…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

According to Ridhuan and Ben, the kick of shoplifting is not stealing what you want, but the feeling of stealing something that you have no use for. Of course, I did not understand initially, until Ben told me to meet him one Wednesday after school to steal something.

“But it’s wrong.” I told him.

“Fang Ling will be impressed.” Ben said, and I believed him, for I was willing to do anything to impress you.

We went to the NTUC FairPrice at Boon Lay Shopping Centre. According to Ben, the security people in NTUC FairPrice wear plain clothes, hence the excitement. Firstly, we had to spot who was the security guard in the big supermarket. We spent five minutes loitering around the supermarket. I was hoping to spot the security guard, for I believed that if I managed to spot him, I would be able to impress you.

“How?” At the sixth minute, Ben eyed around himself and said. “Think it’s that old guy over there. Sibei louya, see one time can spot liao.”

I stared at the old man. That was the one I had initially thought too. Knowing that he was the security guard, Ben said he will distract him while I go to the non-food section to put a woman’s panty into my pocket.

“Woman’s panty?” I said, capped my mouth with my hands and stared at Ben.

“Yeah. Go. Fang Ling will be impressed.” Before I could reply, Ben stepped towards the old man.
I had only one second to decide. I turned, licked my lips and cut towards the non-food section. It was easy; I just grabbed a red panty, balled it into my hand and slotted my fist into my pocket.

I eyed around before walking off, and I was stupidly thinking: Have I gotten the correct size?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Do you know I joined Pai Tang gang because I thought you would be impressed?

At first I just wanted to teach Adrian a lesson for being so close to you; but after getting Ridhuan and Ben to beat him up in the school toilet, he became so scared that he would not even dare to look at you or me eye to eye. Then I wondered whether I should leave Pai Tang gang; but seeing how cool I was when the gang of us sat at the back of the canteen, I knew I should not leave.

It was Ben who taught me how to smoke: “You must taleh. Taleh lah!” He kept on highlighting that when I just sucked the smoke into my mouth. “Taleh, mah-cham taking a deep breath. Don’t waste cigarette leh.”

On my sixth drag, I sucked in the smoke into my lungs and coughed immediately, like I had just inhaled some poisonous gas. Ben was laughing, saying that it was normal for a first-timer.

“That is taleh lah.” He said, “Suck into your lungs leh, very shiok. Come, take a few deep breaths first.” I breathed normally. “Okay, you ready?” I eyed Ben, nodded and lifted the cigarette towards my lips. “Taleh!”

I dragged hard, exhaled and a cloud of smoke funneled out from my mouth. A second later, I coughed, but that drag; it felt… good. Nice.

“Good. Cool, right?”

I nodded slowly, took a few deep breaths and placed the stick between my lips again.

“Fang Ling will be impressed!” Ben said, tapping my shoulder.

That was exactly what I wanted to know; if you would be impressed if you saw me smoking, for I thought that a person who smokes is always cool.

What a mistake I had made, superwoman.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Do you remember the day when I wanted to show you how cool I was?

It was a Wednesday evening, and I knew your car would pass by the traffic light near to Da Fei Coffeeshop. After school, I ran towards the traffic light like a schoolboy chasing a bus. By the time I was there, I made sure I was earlier than your car. I was panting when I lit up my cigarette. Do you know I nearly fainted when I dragged the stick as I panted?

A minute later, your silver car came in view. I surveyed the traffic lights around me, two fingers sandwiching my cigarette as I waved at your car. All I was thinking of was: Did you see my cigarette? Do I look cool to you?

Your car stopped at the traffic light and I smiled, walked towards your car, exhaled a cloud of smoke and looked inside.

Why do you like to sleep when you are in the car?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Do you remember that particular day, when I smiled the broadest and cried the hardest?

It was a Friday morning, when we went to our new secondary school. You had told me on the day when our PSLE results were released that you were going to go Yuhua Secondary School; and there I was, stepping into the school, so looking forward to seeing you.

I was allocated to class 1N3, and when I was in school, I kept on looking out for you. You finally came after a while in that big car of yours. When you alighted, I smiled, and I wondered why I was thinking that you looked like an angel in your brown Yuhua Secondary School’s uniform.

You had already walked for ten seconds in the carpark before I paced towards you. I was carrying a small Outdoor backpack, one of the most popular bags in Singapore then. Maybe you did not know this till now: I had stolen the bag together with some of the Pai Tang “brothers”.

You did not even take a second glance at me, so I followed you. After all, we were from the same primary school, so we were supposed to be familiar with each other.

“Hey, hello.” I said to you. Did you not hear me, or were you pretending not to hear me? “Fang Ling, hello!”

You turned, rolled your eyes and gave me a smile that looked so fake. Seconds later, you walked off.
Just like that, do you remember? Of course, I did not cry because of that. You should know why I cried; for that day was one of the most painful days of my life.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Do you know I even remembered the exact time when it all happened? It was 6:59pm. I was waiting for your father’s car, but you did not walk towards the bus stop. Instead, you ambled out of the gates, your head turning around as if looking for someone.

Then, he came.

He was in the light-blue Commonwealth Secondary School uniform. I wondered why he looked like a devil in that outfit. I remembered him; of course I did. He is Wilson, the handsome Wilson from Qifa Primary School. The sporty Wilson who played for the school’s basketball team. The clever Wilson who could solve every problem sum in the Mathematics test papers. The talented Wilson who is every girl’s prince charming.

What you did was this: At first you smiled, then you skipped towards him like a little girl and then both of you reached for each other’s hands.

My tears did not come until you two walked towards the bus stop together, you kept on laughing while he kept on talking. That journey from the school to the bus stop: It amplified from one minute to one hour.

Have you ever cried so much, so sad that your heart starts to emit physical pain as well, like your heart is shedding tears? I had, because that was the first time I experienced that pain: Sharp, strong and like an emotionally-injected sting.

Thats all.
Dont ask me where I got this from. Out of love, Zz.

2008-09-24T17:57:00.002+08:00

Alright, lets just ignore the previous post. I did that out of emo-ing. :X

I'm pissed cause I saw my sis wearing my .. stuff. >:(
Keychain with Bread. :D
Bread ate me.
I ate her too.
Lost both my arms.
She ate them.
She lost her heart.
Cause I stole it.

Teehee.

2008-09-24T17:54:00.004+08:00

I've a hunch..

i know, he's leaving.

2008-09-23T19:06:00.002+08:00

My Bread ah Bread.
I sing this song to you.

BABY WONT YOU TELL ME WHY?

Kay lah. Now have your name alr.
I specially post this for you de.
Love you okay. LOLOLOL.

KAYA LOVE BREAD ALOT. <3
I LOVE BREAD.
I LOVE BREAD.
I LOVE BREAD.

Watching Anne Frank now. WILL cry later. >:D

I Love you Bread, o4o8o8!
Our anni present is ready alr. LOL. :D

2008-09-20T17:21:00.002+08:00

Hey girl. Whatcha doin' now is selfish.
I dont give a damn to your stupid camwhoring.
But stop that. Face the fucking fact that you're ugly. Stop making your fucking photos fucking blur. Zzz.
Those poses, those camera shots, you fucking copy me for what.
Cb. You're just like that another bitch, you just plain copy from others to gain attention.
Cant you create something else to gain the fucking attention?

I doubt the camera/phone loves you. I think it'll runaway someday.
Fucking cb.

I can forget about the copying thing. But there's more to this. I just dont wanna say it out. Or else its gonna be so damn obvious its you. You know its you.

Lyrics --x

Out of this club -- Pussycatdolls

Baby won't you take me out of this club
I wanna be with you
Baby let me take you out of this club
I make your dreams come true
Baby won't you take me out of this club
I wanna be with you

I smiled enough
I flirted enough
I posed enough
Got freaky enough

Took pictures enough
Conversated enough
I sipped enough
I got enough

I see a cute boy chilling in some jeans and Tims
I think i like him and i just might leave this club with him
And his swagger tight, i'm feeling the tattoos on him
Make me wanna, wanna, wanna got with him

VIP like "Hey"
Dissing with my girls like "Hey"
Then i call him off to meet me
I couldnt resist, so sexy

DJ get on the mic
And make them ... from the front to the rear
Yall ain't gotta go home
but you gotta get the hell up outta here

[chorus]

I drank enough
I danced enough
I partied enough
I sweated enough

I stuttered enough
I flossed enough
I snapped enough
Two step enough

Now I want this awesome woman up in this club
And i like her and I wanna leave this club with her
Ever since the mama broke it down to the floor
I say she ready she ready she ready to go, to go

Then i got behind her like "hey"
She pushed it on me like "hey"
And she ain't scared to get dirty
Even though she's so pretty purdy

DJ get on the mic
And give us head from the front to the rear
Yall ain't gotta go home
but you gotta get the hell up outta here

[chorus]

Baby won't you take me out of this club
I wanna be with you
Baby let me take you out of this club
I make your dreams come true
Baby won't you take me out of this club
I wanna be with you
Baby let me take you out of this club
I make your dreams come true

Dangerous - Akon

girl i can notice but to
notice you
noticin me
from across the room
i can see it and cant stop myself from lookin
and noticin you noticin me
watch out i seen her type before

[chorus]
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl
i've seen her type before she's so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl [yeah]

[kardinal offishall]
ohhhh yeah thats her, the
big dick tryin to get her lil pussy to purr
ex man lookin at me like im Lucifer
cause he knows i will deal wit the case yes sir!
if i was the last man on earth
i would only take that girl end of search
she give a new definition to the word curve
got chicks in the strip club envyin her's
bodies like weapons a mass eruptions
seal the glad on that phat obstruction
tongue game give a new type seduction
im tryna give that girl somethin!

[akon]
girl i can notice but to
notice you
noticin me
from across the room
i can see it that cant stop myself from lookin
and noticin you noticin me
watch out i seen her type before

[chorus]
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl
i seen her type before she's so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl [yeah]

[kardinal offishall]
ohhh bad to the bone
everything locked like a two three zone
i wanted to make my black snake moan
talk a little bit then take that home
she bad and she know the deal
that sweater cant hide when she wanna conceal
i mean Meagan Good and Halle Berry
put together aint close to the jibby i see no no
no disrespect but this gal upon another level wanna cut the check
[oh]
tell king max stop the press
say king can i get a witness?

[akon]
girl i can notice but to
notice you
noticin me
from across the room
i can see it that cant stop myself from lookin
and noticin you noticin me
watch out i seen her type before

[chorus]
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl
i seen her type before she's so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl [yeah]

i see you got that fire by the way that you walkinn [walkin]
from left to right i watched her go down
girl i just want it right now dont wanna do no talkinn [talkin]
shortys so right i need to slow down

[kardinal offishall]
figure 8
good bodyshape
when she on the dance floor get them irate
when she do her thing man cant walk straight
that *biscuit soak up everyting on our plate
bad heels like jessica P
im tryna give homegirl sex and the city-tity
itty bitty waistline moves with the baseline
one lick of punch im fine!

[akon]
girl i can notice but to
notice you
noticin me
from across the room
i can see it that cant stop myself from lookin
and noticin you noticin me
watch out i seen her type before

[chorus]
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl
i seen her type before she's so dangerous
that girl is so dangerous
that girl is a bad girl [yeah]

Fall - Ina

I gave you all you desired
All that you needed
Boy, I provided
I let you into my head
Into my bed
And that’s a privilege
I had your back at the answers
You took the dollars
I took the chances
Defended, battled and fought
Cuz I thought you really loved me
I don’t know where to start or where to stop
No, but I know I am done
I’ve had enough

So fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You’ll be sorry that I’m not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall

You said that you were the strong one
I was the girl
And I was the young one
I kept your feet on the ground
My head in the rounds I had you
You told me you were so grateful
I was with you
And I was so faithful
Stood by in all that you said
And all that you did
I loved you
I don’t know how to act or what to say
But I know I am good
I’ll be okay

And you fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You’ll be sorry that I’m not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall

So fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You’ll be sorry that I’m not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall

2008-09-12T20:25:00.002+08:00

True Facts -- :O

1) Actually he's very nice. Just I can't accept him being so annoying. :D
2) Actually, I like brenda alot one.
3) Actually, Bread + Kaya very nice one. You want also can try peanut butter. LOLOL.
4) Actually, Jason;Kelvin;Ben all no manners one.
5) Actually, Everybody got hair. But they shaved it. Just like porno bitches. MUKEKE.

Very true right.
Who's Nehtu? Take it as an Annoymous. :D

This Nehtu, she love to watch porn, that, you know? :D
And She, likes to wiggle herself and fondle her self, and.. all those alright. :D
Her father, loves porn too. Nehtu steals her father's porn videos. :D
She, not only has a fucking big PIEHOLE, she has a big mouth too. :D
She loves to spread. :D
And she can't deny it. :D
I wonder how can you get over with the no-touching-my-thatone during yr periods.
That's sad, FOR YOU. ):
Great, since I'm talking about you, why not let me gossip more? :D

You claim that I hacked your account. But you hi-jacked my businesses.
Oh anyway, you have any prove? Dont fucking assume, ass.
The only thing you can say about me is that, I DONT LIKE YOU.
And thats why you suspected me. So now that's sad for me. ):
But Its not wrong to hate someone. You cant stop me can you? :o

And you disgust me to the core.
It disgust my eyes to see you, my ears to hear you, my nose to sense you and my lips to talk to you.

stop copying. stop spreading. :D
The next time i scold you, will be the time you recieve a VERY DELICATE "touch", oh nono -- slap, on your cheeks :D

I personally think some girls in my class, suck alot too. =.=
Lets classify them :

Attention seekers :
- A
- E
- G
- S
- Y

Money/Monkey faces :
None, so great. :D

Rebellious actors :
- G
- Rohini
- S
- Y

Daydream that they rock :
None, heng. :D

Using Vulgarities they DONT KNOW :
- Y Y Y Y Y !!!!!

I didnt say its anyone. Dont get upset about it. I'm using alphabets only. Dont think too much. :D

2008-09-11T21:51:00.001+08:00

No.

2008-09-09T14:53:00.003+08:00

tell me its a dream. i really wanna stop.
end it.
end this pain.

i know the most abt you. but everyone including me, expected more than what i know now. i never had a chance.

the worst pain i ever had.

so what if i cried, right? but this cant be compared with any other normal tears.
be it tears of pain, tears of joy. these are killer tears.
let them fall, you'll perhaps just fall into nothingness.

you taught me many things, and i've learnt many things. This may be the worst exam period i ever had.

making the exam papers drown with tears.
But who ever cared?
No one would know. this would probably repeat for the following 3 exams.

If you really want to stop everything..

I just cant believe you're gone, still waiting for
morning to come. when i see if the sun will rise, in
the way that your by my side, where we had so
much in store, tell me what is it.
All reaching for, when were through building memories
i'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart

They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that will never play,
all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away.
they can take the future that will never know.
they can take the places that we said we will go.
but they can never have yesterday

You always choose to stay, i should be thankful
for everyday, heaven knows what the future holds,
or least where the story goes, i never believed
untill now, i know i'll see you again im sure, no
its not selfish to ask for more,
one more night one more day one more smile
on your Face
but they cant take yesterday,

I thought our days would last forever, but it
wasnt our destiny, cause in my mind we had so much
time, but i was so wrong, no one can believe me i
can still find the strengh in the moments we made
im lookin back on yesterday.

-extract from yesterday

perhaps, this applies.

when theres no more me, no more you, no more anniversaries as well.

2008-09-03T21:16:00.002+08:00

Stupid secondary 1&2 ppl. -.-
Love to act & dress like as if they are sec 4. short tube somemore lah. Low cut lah.
Wear until like that. you dont get attention from us d. get from geylang lah. got money take somemore. Zzz.
And you all these sec 1&2 d, like to diao ppl, then dont dare look back.
Talk like you're damn fuck big, we scold back you diamdiam. Wth. Zzz.

Made a list of
- xmas presenttttttt. :o
- Names

Planning to make teamteeshirts. :D
let me know if int. <:

2008-09-01T19:06:00.002+08:00

Cb. You owe me $100 that time. I still never urge you for the money. I told you I need the money, you promised to return me, and now? You never even return me. Zzz.
Fine, nevermind.
Last sunday I only lent 20bucks from you, and you're urging me to return you now. TWENTY DOLLARS. MOTHER FUCKER. ZZZZ.
I have 50bucks in my pocket, and you ask me to give you 50bucks FIRST, i doubt you'd return to me.
I'll get that $100 tonight. I WILL. -'-

swollen eyes.. hais.

2008-08-29T13:58:00.002+08:00

If you're here, read this and think about what i've said please.

I dontknow what happened to you but i'm sure i'm still who i was. Maybe its because of the people in our surroundings or just some misunderstandings. But I need to get this sorted out.

These may be the reasons that you are giving me a cold shoulder now, and I'll try to explain whats the truth.

1: because of 'giving in' or 'sacrificing'.
I use shortcuts alright.
Annoymous Girl = AG

You're trying to allow AG and me to be friends again, you know what AG wants. But, do you know what I want? Besides, I know that I say I hated ~ and I still talk to ~. That's because you're always with her so I have no choice. I've never placed anyone infront of you. You're always the first that comes to my mind, fyi. AG wants what I do not want. You know that very well. Besides, I've always told you that when you remind me of her. You cant force me to be with someone I dont really like.

2: because of myself

I'm just alittle curious about what I've done wrong. It seems to be one "Whish" and we became strangers. That day before we go home, we were still hanging around at the lrt. And the next day, ..
Now when we're going home, the moment AG step out, we became complete strangers.
These may also be the reasons :
1. I'm Arrogant.
2. I'm Naggy.
3. I'm Unfair.

For 1:
If i was then apologies to you. But I'm sure there must be a reason for me being arrogant. I dont know that but maybe I dont sense that I am.

For 2:
You should know why I'm like that. Like I said in "giving in" section, I've always placed you at first. And because of that, I care. I care so much that you might hate me. I care so much that you find me very irritating. I care so much that I'm like an idiot. But I dont really mind whether you're mad at me or not, I still do my job to care what you're doing. I still care. Alot, alot.

For 3:
I dont know which part of me is unfair. Cause I personally think you're the only one I've showed favouritism to.

3: because of other people.

You cry, you slit, so often that I think I'm the reason why. But you told me that it wasnt me. Although those are the words that flows from your lips, but I still ask myself why.
In case you've never know, the days I've my eyes swollen, --
I cry, at the sight of your tears and scars.

Let me know what more can I do to make this just a roundabout. Tell me we'll be going back to our zebra crossing.

if you dont know what it means, i'll get straight to the point : I just want to believe that, this is just for the time being. We'll be back to the past after we've finish our rounds.

2008-08-28T23:28:00.001+08:00

Hais.

2008-08-25T23:04:00.002+08:00

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ALL.

just saw the tiger beer advertisement and i think both the guy are stupid. why not throw on the floor. -.-
and they remind me of jkkor&alvkor and jason, their drunk look. >.>

Anway, read this: (sms) :D
J = Jason
M = Me

J : If I turn horny, what will happen to yr kor u know?
M : LOL. I think if u do so, they are sure to be the first to run.
J : how can like dat? den u leh? Lol.
M : dont know. maybe will run also.
J : really anot? -.- or you stay there wait..... for me? XDDD
M : GO DIE LAH. I not so horny one okay. go find kor they all go masturbate lah. ZZ.
J : okok. laclac. i also never say anything wat. =.=
M : dont care. I angry alr. >:(

okay below all censored ah. :D
So yes, i'm not ~.
I dont know lah. maybe my PM is abit misleading. But please hor. dont come ask me. "you horny ah?" I'm not lah. Zzz.

Damn funny lah that day.
If you happened to pass by Jason's house, cannot make noise d okay. Cause he will come out without his tshirt on and scold you. ==
Went past his house, together with jackson, alvin, melissa & kelvin's brother;Derrick
Ya okay so thanks to Derrick, he was laughing and made us laugh on our way to jason's house. so he ran out without his shirt on and screamed at us : " EH YR MOTHER HOUSE AH"
So, we all diam lor. :/
Nevermind. Then he made melissa jump when he scream. So Derrick got angry. LOL. cause he lovessssszx melissa.
Didnt believed what he did. He actually, pinch Jason's nehneh. LOL.
Then he fell on the floor, semi dead. LOL.

Other stuffs are very funny too. But I just highlighted this.
Cause I want to maple now. 11.24pm. left 46mins for maple.
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! :D

2008-08-22T16:05:00.002+08:00

1 - Zzz. fucking spammer. you just wait & see. -'-

2 - Eh nenek (random name. LOL), dont act lah can. you jealous what. you trying to gain attention & sympathy yes? cus thats fucking obvious. -.-
stop telling lies and make others fall out. Zzz.

Today we had our very own olympics.
Brenda Claire Rachel climbed the rock wall. :D
trying to touch the tortoise.
aft that we went to watch sch concert. :o

& very suay laa hor. stupid darren. drag us into the situation. We merely circled "yes" and ya, we got involve.

a cute and a stupid thing happened to me in the voiddeck.
I saw a malay Family.
The mother was wearing pink top, white bottom and white shoes.
The father was wearing pink top, white bottom and white shoes.
They are pushing a baby in the cradle.. ?
And the cradle is pink and white.
The baby was wearing pink top and white bottom.
The baby was also wearing a pink hat and pink & white shoes.

Cute family right? :D

second thing was a very stupid one.
I was smsing brenda questioning about her '62' thing. ;/
And 3 C/A/B pop out from nowhere.
yeah, ghim mor. >.>
not shuai lah. cos i think i'm still much more handsome than them. :D
I was munching prawn crackers and smsing.
One of them wave their hand and say Hi.
Another, Yawn.
And another, just acted like i'm invisible.
Thats stupid.
Then nevermind. I went gagaga when I realised the one yawning was munching prawn crackers aswell, and was a super fat guy. LOL.

I go level up maple then go play gb. :D

Brenda dont be silly hor. -.-

2008-08-18T00:17:00.002+08:00

PS:
Jason, I alr explained it today, and its obviously very clear. you dont believe or you dont care, I dont give a damn. Now you're not the one being hospitalized so you dont know how does that feel, but that is not a reason for you to joke on K. You cant say such things infront of him. So if you cant wait to get a chopper and stab him to death, then why not go cut yrself. Zzz.

PS:
Congrats to auntiekerri & uncleyuie for being married on 15 August. (:
& Grats auntkerri for yr 5thmonth baby. :o

Went out today. :o
Met a super cute taxi driver who charged me $0.70 less on purpose. Hahaha.

New song inlove. :B

That's when I love you -- Aslyn

When you have to look away
When you dont have much to say
Thats when I love you
I love you, just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
Thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly
And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget Im waiting in the rain
Baby i love you,
I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
WhenI love you no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
Thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you cant quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
Thats when I love you
I love you, more than youll know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you get when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
Thats when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
No matter what

&

Better in Time - Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
"Who's there?" no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'll be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'll be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: x2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

2008-08-14T16:03:00.002+08:00

I alr had enough.
Now that 7 hours passed, everything becomes my fault.
I dont know what the three of them are thinking about.
Nor do I know what can I do now.

Cause the way they all phrase it, its just like my fault.

And AUNTIE/MADAM/MRS, you make me feel like dying.

2008-08-14T16:01:00.000+08:00

It was less than 7 hours, everything changed.

Eat shit and die.